Ladygem's blog: "About me"

Friends

Friends do not let friends drive drunk. Let me add to this you also do not take someone's car keys from them and send them to walk home at 2 a.m.  If someone is not safe to drive a car they are not safe to be walking home alone. They are vulnerable to strangers. ANyone can more easily grab them and do whatever they want to them. No if you allow someone to drink at your house, especially female you ask them to stay on the couch unless you call a cab or drive them home.

Sure taking the keys away, you are not responsible for that person then getting in a wreck. However you are responsible for the person consuming alcohol in your home. If that person is assaulted, raped or murdered on the way home-- you are to answer. If you do not bother to call to make certain they arrived home; if you can go to sleep given the above, you have no conscience.

I am not proud I drank too much. I am responsible for drinking. However I did learn how one person operates. She clued me in that perhaps she did not care if I made it home. And if I interrupted her "beauty" sleep getting my keys the next morning, I don't care. May she sleep well and be pissed off at me. I am not losing any sleep and I will not apologize.

like waters troubled continue

to be disturbed even after the dead are dropped

ununder the surface

so also I may shake even in the most secure arms

You may conclude reaching out therefore

you cannot reach me

but somewhere inside you do.

Months ago I ended years unable

to speak my truth

And to note feel pain

I stopped speaking.

Any silence does not mean I do not want to talk to you

I do, but for that moment I cannot.

With your patience I will and do.

Because someone hurt me for doing so

There are moments when I may not know

What to say to you.

Know it is not you but someone else

Who is now me...

there may be  those who I once allowed

to reduce my spirit

to a safe corner of my body

And yet one thing I know is true

Even when I grow forgetful.

Now if I receive or even give

to another person

One word of affirmation or a gesture

for a brief moment

this action allows my spirit to extend

to my entire form, deep into the earth and the light

of the stars

a spirit

To see too we are

Every single one of us made up

of everyone and every thing.

Impose judgment and you are judged.

Harm another you believe is outside of you and

One day the numbness of distrations and escape arts

Wear off

And you feel the pain you inflict on another part

of yourself.

It is merely a choice not retribution

Any more than a light socket would

Seek revenge for reaching into it

With a painful shock.

This is a lesson on earth

that is part of being human.

So let us heal each other

What do you say...

Someone help me stop the "could have beens"

Could you help me create a present moment

Even just a hug or going through my hair.

ANd tell me "I am here now

the others are long gone

 they will never hurt you anymore".

Most importantly "you are forgiven

And young and alive

This too shall pass".

The loss of a child is worse than any grief

for a parent.

What if the child is somewhere between life and death

Lost

Do they grieve the burden of a sick child.

My friend j told me that God has a purpose in my life

And that it will be proven I was lied to ever

Believe I am of no use

A waste of time.

Sometimes I have and do grieve

for being such a child

and for those who care

 for me.

Moments of grace enter

As when my friend said what she did

Implying I am cared not just for as in work

But about 

That in doing so I am enjoyed.

A chamelion allows me to see him.

On the path where I walk

When others pass by he moves just a bit.

I rest my eyes upon him softly

Vulnerable except in the ability

to  be overlooked

because what is of larger form shares its color

and he takes shelter.

He hides

from everyone it seems but me

And I think toward it

with a tear in my eye

We are kin of a similar fear

I wish I could disappear

into something larger than me

that I too

would be overlooked

instead of standing out awkwardly

As I always do.

Because certain people notice in such a way

That they scare me too. 

And I nod farewell

Pretending that the golden sunlight

Shares its glow

In the light around me

And I am safe.

if you design a doll

to represent me

and stick pins into

keep in mind

the power of three

and we are all one

Given this

although it can't touch me

Each pin you stick intended for me

is a hunting knife through you

I state only the law.

You can choose instead

to embrace the love and white light

That surrounds the real me

It would be around you as well

And anyone who sets the intention

to become a whole person

He assumes she know his silent brooding means

He is angry

Her fist hits the table

Opals, sapphires, diamonds, bloodstones flying everywhere

Looks at him collective and says calmly evenly

 "I am not telepathic"

"So" she assesses "when the person I am grown into now

Sets a boundary. and I stand up for myself,

If it were in the shell of a person I once was

That would be being a bitch"...

And so she is invisible to everyone who loved that shell

Now she must find people who will love her.

The others worse than despised her calling it love

So she keeps telling herself...

Until she finds those who embrace her formless

Without prejudgment

Love unconditional.

-----------------------------------------------

Just Two Lines that Break Down the Above

Sitting upright in bed she gets mad.

And every fucking star falls from the sky.

for someone who tried to be my mother when my own mother can't be there for me. I hope you are reading lady because I love you.

Sometimes I push people away it appears

But it is me pushing my own self away and in turn colliding

with anyone who might reach out

I do not want you to feel or see what I do

No. Trust me it hurts too much...

Something happened

I don't know when

for how could I not notice

That one day the music went away.

A profound absense strikes me.

Once a chord, a song matched with every point in time and space

Dovetailing...

I want to hear the music again.

Anything but the shrill silence.

But to one who tried to reach out

I don't know how to apologize

I got scared and ran like hell

Not from you, but from letting you hear

Any more of one story.

A wise woman tells me

I must have mercy on me first.

To get to that place of forgiveness and let other people go.

She claims each of us has a counterpart

Portion of the world to us

And that when we heal ourself

We heal all of us.

All are one.

So would it be wrong to ask someone else

to take me to the music.

Or am I alone.   

No One Needs to Waste Away in the Land of Silence.

I can hear you. Give me time to find you.

If you read these words you will receive love and light today. It is  because I weave these into each word with a copper cord. Copper is the metal of love, not gold or silver...

I make jewelry with a copper cord to remind me that no necklace is ever broken. Even when a string of beads and crystals breaks, scattering upon the floor it has not broken. I will take something stronger and put the pieces back together. And I have made something more beautiful and stronger than what I once wore. This is who I am and so are you.

Friends

I learned something today. I know and understand the quote that says "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and when you forget that song they sing it back to you so you will remember".

you remember the song in my heart

the vibration that makes me not just live but thrive in sunshine

thank you for singing it back to me

Thank you for bringing me back into being.

I am a true friend as you and

i will always sing your song back to you

Or if I have no voice I record your song

And would play it.

When I was little I would ask, "Will you be my friend"

Now I ask "can I have your song and give you mine?"...