tjtoaster's blog: "2009 Random thoughts"

I have had a few conversations on this topic recently. Usually it is someone happily pointing out my flaws. As much as I enjoy these conversations, they need to stop. It isn’t that I mind being told what is wrong with me; it is because you do not take responsibility for your part in it.

 I strive for perfection and am disappointed when I do not reach it not because I have high expectations of myself, but because you do. I have to be perfect, I have to be right all the time because that is what is expected of me. Too many people delight in every mistake I make, or love to point out the one time I was wrong.  Most people can slip up, make a mistake or fail at a task and it is no big deal. We never mention it again. I make plenty of mistakes, but I have to fix them. I can crash and burn, and still be expected to win the race.

 People can outright offend me, and it is no big deal. Treat me like crap, hurt my feelings and no one cares. Yet I have to watch what I do or say all the time. I had someone come up to me and tell me they were offended about what someone else overheard me say to a friend and told them. That is retarded.

 Yeah, I said RETARDED. Take your political correctness and shove it.

 It doesn’t bother me that I am held to a different standard, just hold yourself to the same standard you hold others to. Or in my case, I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold myself to. Next time you are thinking about what someone else does that makes you mad, make sure you don’t do the same thing.

 And to be clear, I am not complaining. I am not whining or bitching. I am just letting the world know. The reason why I am like this is because this is what the world likes. Every time I try to be nice, I get treated like crap. Someone mistakes my kindness for weakness.

 So yes, I am an arrogant, cold hearted bastard. And that is exactly what you like. You either like me this way because you like it. Or you like me this way so you can look down on me. Either way, I don’t care.