After my many heart breaks, lost loves, loves that lie, loves that hide who they really are... I figured I would have learned my lesson. I thought to myself, after this last one, some of you know who he is, I would seal up my heart, not let anyone in, and never... I mean NEVER talk to him again. I blocked off communication lines on here, and other places. For some reason, I opened them back up. Figured, no big deal... I can handle this, I can just open them back up and see what happens. I don't want to be with him. I don't want that heart ache again. I figured, its been a while, I could probably be his friend. It was very comforting to talk to him in the past...
I never expected the rush of emotion that would come from chatting on here with him. Although, I stand by what I have said and decided, I gave him a chance to explain. I wasn't expecting the truth. I am not sure anymore what the truth is. He did explain some things, but whether or not its the truth by definition or the truth as in what he tells himself, I am unsure. Only the higher powers that be know if I will ever know the whole truth about this whole situation. I don't expect it. I am actually not sure if I really want to know.
However, with all that venting done, I did manage to get an email from him and then the brief chat in the shout box. I am not sure how I feel at this moment. I am not sure what I should feel. I do know this.
I stand by my feelings. I stand by the fact, that I will never go looking for love. I will never look for that Mr Right for Me. If he shows up in my life, my heart should know it is him... and I will give him what is left of my heart for Mr Right to heal it, mend it, build it back up to what I know my heart used to be long ago. There is someone out there for me. If it takes a lifetime for him to find me... then I will wait that lifetime. :)
With Love To All...
*AngL* 
