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AngL's blog: "Random *B* Babble"

created on 11/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/random-b-babble/b152135

Decisions.. Pain..

I make decisions each day in every aspect of my life that impact not only my life, but the lives of others. My children, my loved ones, my family, my friends... and all that I am associated with. Sometimes, even if I feel I made the right decisions, they may not be right for all around. I very much dislike the decisions that hurt someone. Anyone. I feel rotten inside and out when I know someone is hurting based on a decision that I made. Recently, I made a decision in my life that I am reminded daily since of the pain caused by that decision. It hurts me deeply. I wish I could get rid of that pain. For my friend and for myself. The decision, was the right one for my family and I... but in the end, someone still got hurt. I can't, nor do I want to change the decision, but I wish I could get rid of the pain I caused. I know this is a part of life, but it doesn't mean I have to like it anyway. In fact, I despise it. I know that there will be many more decisions to make that will cause someone somewhere some level of pain, just as I know I have done this in the past. Never with intention of hurting anyone. I only make the decisions that I believe are the best for me and my family. It really pains me though. Right through to my heart, to the point that, I hurt too. I would feel guilty if I didn't have some level of pain as well... and knowing that someone is hurting based on something I did, that hurts me in itself. I always knew life would be more difficult that we all believed in High School and even younger when we are "invincible". When we KNEW everything better than our parents. Decisions... they are a painful reality to life... Just know, if you, my friend... are hurting... I hurt to... for you. With Much Love To All... AngL
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