I don't know if it's, like, a full moon and the stars are out of alignment and the magnetic core of the Earth is polarized unequally or some shit.. But it seems like every male in my life as of the last week has had worse PMS than I do. I swear, they've all slipped off their rockers and banged their oversized skulls on something.
I got into a heated conversation last night with a friend of mine. We were talking about relationships and she proceeded to tell me that I was "wrong" about how I feel about how strongly I feel about the financial responsibilty that I expect from the men I date... That pissed me off.
What pissed me off was that she was telling me I was wrong about the way that I feel about what I'm attracted to, or what I feel is necessary in a relationship with ME... Not her.. Not anyone else... ME. I think that the only authority on the subject of how I feel about what responsibilities should be held in a relationship of MINE is ME. Fuck if anyone is going to impose their thoughts on what is good for ME and what I feel.
Nothing makes me more angry than when someone tries to dictate what my priorities should be. For a 32 year old woman, I've got my shit together as to what makes me happy and what works for me... I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm not asking for it to be.
It's my fucking cup of tea. If I want sugar and milk in it, I'll put it in.. Don't tell me that sugar and milk are EXPECTED to be in my tea because you want it to be.
Anyhow..
The conversation was that I feel that it is necessary that a man that I date.. Or involve myself with.. Make more money than I do. Here is why:
I am very traditional in needing clearly defined gender roles in relationships that I am in. If a man was making less money than I am, then I would be the breadwinner in the relationship. I don't want to be the breadwinner... I want to be the additional supplemental income. If I am the breadwinner, then I would hold the dominant, masculine side of the financial responsibility.
I don't want that.
If we got married, and we had children, then me quitting my job to raise the children would be impossible. Why? Because my income is more than one half of the income coming into the household.
Also, my father was always the king of his domain. My father went to work everyday. He brought home the bacon. If my father wanted something to go a certain way, it went that way despite what my mother may have thought. My father always wore the pants in the relationship between my parents, and my mother always respected that. If I were to ever question something my father decided, the immediate answer was always the same.
"Joy, it's the Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules. I have the gold; I make the rules."
In my relationships, I don't want to make the rules. I want to follow them. If I were bringing home the bacon, I would be wearing the pants. I don't generally respect men that wear skirts.
I expect the men in my life to be better than me... Smarter than me... Stronger than me... Basically, I want to know that if I'm in a relationship, I'm with someone that can take care of me the same way my father has always taken care of my mother. She has dependent on him to support their family, and he has always depended on her to maintain his home and raise his children. If I know that I can support my family better than the man that I am with can...
Well, then I guess that means that he's not better than me. He's not smarter than me. He's not stronger than me. With that kind of superiority in the relationship, it demasculinizes the person I am with.
Does everyone feel this way? No... And I don't expect them to. All day at work, I am analyzing the financial situations of people who are for the most part married. It is very often that I come across applicants who have households in which the woman is the head of the household. For some people, it works.
But then again, most of those couples are younger and haven't been married for more than 5-10 years. Most of those couples are also highly over extended financially. The generation of these couples are also seeing a current 50% divorce rate. However, NEVER do I come across a couple that tells me how they have been married for 20+ years and then come to discover that she makes a higher gross income than he does.
Maybe I'm ignorant. Maybe I'm superficial. Maybe I'm just really full of myself. What the case is.. It is what it is.
Feel free to leave your thoughts, however... Insults that are left in my comments from now on won't be tolerated. Especially by douchebag blog stalkers that don't know their asses from their elbows about anything... And leave shitty comments riddled with grammatical spelling errors.
At least if you're going to be so rude, run spellcheck before you submit or else you're going to make yourself look like an even bigger asshole than you already do.
