Hello All,
I'm on my second glass of wine and I find my tongue loosened.
I'm a 27 year old woman who was dxed with Paranoid Schizophrenia when I was 22. My illness probably started with depressive phases in my teens, but the Psychosis really hit when I was 20. I suffered serverly for the next two years with the realization and denial, multiple relapses. I finally got sick of the craziness around 22 or 23 and stayed on meds for good. Unfortunately that those meds made me gain 80 pounds and sedated me to the point of drinking 6-8 cups of coffee a day without it touching my inertia.
On a somewhat good note over the summer, I stopped my antidepressants which the side effects were becoming worse than the helping properties, I promtly lost 30 lbs. so far. I found a new doc and went through another med change...which finally seems to be on the up swing...however, the over the holidays I was in the theroes of psychosis...slowly recovering now...
Anyway, all this is to explain that I'm painfully shy and guarded due to my illness and if you don't hear back from me, it's not because because I don't like you...it's just that my shell is thick and besides that after reading this do you really still want to be my friend anyway? LOL
What does my topography of my madness look like?
And I only say madness because to me it sounds more romantic lol. When really there is nothing romantic about it.
It's a constant LSD trip, a constant conspiracy, a constant contemplation of what if's, and could be's...
I'll explain more later...to be continued...
