I've been through so much shit in the past couple of months. I've learned so much about myself and about life in general. First and foremost, I've become forgiving. It's something you have to do, you have to dig deep inside your heart to forgive people. It's definatly not easy especially when you've been hurt soooo badly but if you can't forgive then the pain will eat at you every single day. Forgive for YOURSELF not for the other person or other people. Never lose faith or stop believing; hope is important even if you've been let down so many times before. If you don't have hope for something good or for a better day than you probably won't see one. Somehow have to find the positive in your life. But don't worry because it is true, what goes around comes back around. And if something IS meant to be, then no matter what, it will be. Sometimes you do have to let something go and if it was meant to be then it will come back into your life. If it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be and you don't want it anyway. You have to know what you (oneself) deserves, know your worth and don't anybody put you down and tell you otherwise. It's hard to believe in youself when the people you love and care about cloud your mind with things that are not true. Surround yourself with positive people and things and you'll start to realize you are worth more than the bullshit, a lot more. You might even feel irreplaceable. If you are a good person and you feel like you've given everything you could have given than there's nothing else you can do. You have to let it go....for yourself to be able to move on. There are other things/people out there that can make you happy. But I've definatly learned, no matter how hard it is, PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Big mistake I made, putting someone else first.It took me sooooo long to understand that. It's first nature to me to put others first, I often don't even think about myself. When something happens you are stuck feeling empty because everything you had, they just took from you. Just like Beyonce said---me myself and I... that's all i got in the end, that's what I found out. And its so very true. When you're in love you're so blind to reality. You're so happy and you continue to keep giving and giving and you never think what would happen if it was to be cut off. What would I do if I didn't have him to give all my love to? I've realized the way that I was giving my love was not healthy for my emotions. Now I'm focused on me and loving myself. I always go out of my way for people because it makes me feel good doing it. But you treat others how you want to be treated, so I don't expect to give and give and never recieve anything in return. Now that doesn't mean I do things to get things, that's not the truth at all. Most the time an honest THANK YOU is enough but oftentimes I don't even get that. And that is one thing I cannot stand is unnappreiative people; it makes me feel taken advantage of (my kindess). Don't take anyone/anything for granted because it could be gone the next day or even the next minute. I don't wanna sound concieded but someone who has me should be thankful because I do go out of my way to make them feel like a king. If I like someone enough to be with them, then I will do all I can to make them feel good. But now I feel like that's definatly going to be harder to do. Because when I gave my all, my everything in the past, its been thrown back in my face. I'll always be a giving person but I'm definatly not giving everything. And it's sad because what if the real guy comes to me and I might miss out on him because I'm still caught up in what has happened to me. It's not right but it's reality. You live and you learn. I'm definatly confident in who I am, especially now because I see my worth. I know I'm a good person and I'm a real person. I come from a family that loves me and I choose to surround myself with good people. People who hold standards and morals for themselves. NO RESPECT FOR YOURSELF RESULTS IN NO RESPECT FROM OTHER PEOPLE. YOU ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUSELF......
