Where did my life go?!?! Just yesterday I was 18 and getting out of high school and today I looked in the mirror and some 45 year old dude was looking back at me!!!! WTF Happened?!?! I know, it has to one of those consciousness transference devices that put your mind in someone else's body!! Either that or some fucked up voodoo spell that changes you like on Freaky Friday or something! Then again, maybe it's just my own mortality creeping in on my body while my mind is still stuck in non-linear limbo.
When you are in your teens and early 20's, you think that time stands still and that you will live forever.....You are "bulletproof". Getting older is the last thing you think about, and is only something that other people do.....OLD PEOPLE!!! HOLY SHIT!! THEY LIVE!!! But we don't stay the same forever, and as much as we don't want to admit or acknowledge it, we DO grow older.....even when, like myself, we fight it tooth and nail.
Why the hell should I get old?! I still think like a teenager....HELL, I still act like a teenager! With the exception of drinking like a fish, I can still do anything I did then......the drinking like a fish then is why I can't do it now, thanks to losing a gall bladder over it. My eyes need reading glasses to see close up, but my overall sight is better than it was then. I weight about the same - give or take a few pounds either way, depending on what's going on in life. Kids like me because I'm a big kid with power now.....lol I love the music now, no matter what kind it is. I still keep an open mind and have never closed my mind to new ideas, concepts or my philosophy of life. I can still relate to life as a teenager moreso than many adults.
So why the hell do I have to grow old?! Shouldn't you only age to that of how you act? I know many people in their 20's who act like they are in their 70's.....shouldn't THEY be the ones who have to be the old farts?!?! Why should I have to shy away from the nightclubs so I don't have to be the awkward "weird old guy" in their dancing....I LOVE TO DANCE! I just get the weird looks when I dance to trance or more modern music. Why the hell do I have to be the one who gets weird looks while driving down the street in the summer, with my windows down, and having my rap cranked with my subs thumpin'?! (IF IT'S TOO LOUD - YOU'RE TOO FUCKING OLD!!!) Why the hell does everyone have to be so shocked that I have 24 piercings?!
You younger people - LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP AS WELL!!! Don't be so quick to judge me for the way I am when you don't want adults judging you for the way you are!!! I'm not trying to be cool or relive my youth......I NEVER FUCKING LEFT IT!!! I'm just doing the same things I've ALWAYS done in life - ENJOYING IT!! I have NEVER tried to "fit in" in my entire life, teens to now, and I'm sure as hell not going to start! I like rap, trance, industrial and other music. I WATCH SPONGEBOB!!! I listen to Miley Cirus......The Jonas Brothers and I have NOTHING but MP3s for music! And I really do get Apple Jacks and Cinnamon Toast Crunch!!! Just because I have more life experience doesn't mean that we don't have many of the same interests and likes. And I sure as hell don't want to be treated the way so many younger adults dislike being treated!
I DO look in the mirror on rare occasions.....I only have one in the entire house....I know how I look. I try not to look too long when I do look for fear that it might actually convince me to "act" my age. I do recognize my mortality now, unlike 20+ years ago. I know that I have, perhaps, 15 years of life left in me.....at least I hope for my kid's sake I make it that many years. I've lived a hard life. Too many drugs, too many drinks, too many days awake at a time, living like there was no tomorrow. I still only sleep a minimum amount of time and, more than I should, do still stay awake for two or three days at a time sometimes. I eat crappy foods, smoke WAY too much and NEVER go to a doctor unless I'm pretty much carried there by someone......I can count the number of doctors visits in my adult life on my fingers. All of this has taken a toll on my body and I do know that....I feel it every single day. But I keep pushing it, and I will until I do finally drop.....and I plan on going out hard, just like I have lived!
My best advice for everyone is to live every day as if it were your last......AND GET RID OF YOUR MIRRORS AFTER YOU TURN 25!!!!!!!!!
