i smoked 2 cigarettes then i put the patch back on...
i'm not starting all over with my quit count because well that would be really discouraging.
so right now i'm at 43 days.
had a tight chest and shortness of breath for about a day after i smoked those 2... really bad feeling and it just reminded me why i wanted to quit in the first place.
i went to my dr today... she increased one of my anti depressants, and gave me some ambien to help me sleep. i was staying away from rx sleep aids because i didnt want to be addicted, however when you've not slept well for months and spent the past 2 nights about 9 hours each night laying awake in bed and not sleeping i think its time to do something about it. i'm so freaking tired right now.
i'm changing the meetings i go to...
i think now i'm going to go to EA on tuesdays... CoDa on thursdays... my bipolar group on fridays... and if i can find one, a nicotine anon group on maybe mondays.
so i can address all of my problems. and not get bored with having the same meeting 3 nights a week.
also got another referral from my dr, a therapist group that supposedly takes medicaid, so i'll be calling them tomorrow.
i honestly have no faith that the increased dosage of remeron will make any difference in my depression... i think its sad to be on 2 antidepressants at the same time let alone have them not working for shit. have i mentioned lately i hate my disorder? bleh...
