Good Morning… today’s bit of the tid is provided By the Editors of Marie Claire I Thought she was the maker of those little mini-diners in the freezer section at the grocery store. (Which I had to Google to find out what the heck it was I guess I live a sheltered life) So it is a Magazine and as the web search turned up the publication that women turn to for information on fashion, style, beauty, women's issues, careers, health, ... hmmm ok, so what happened to Better Homes and Gardens, Good House Keeping and Glamour? Hmmm I must be a 50’s boy living in a 20’s boy mindset… Ok, I’ll bite, (not literally) teach me! Show me my dufus man’s ways and move me more into the 2000 man. I will take the Man Test, …ut oh I mean the test of what we men are not supposed to do around a woman….Apparently this was a top twenty list of no, no’s we men should not do around women…Interesting..
1) Reveal how much your car cost…. (holey smokes…if I did not let her know I would not of gotten to purchase it in the first place
2) Clean your gun… (I never do and who is writing these do’s and don’ts down in the first place, I am thinking she is married to the wrong man if he cleans his gun in front of her…now if they both target shoot, or hunt then I would think it would be ok…or does he have to hide out back like he is hiding something from her and in that case she will find out anyways, we men can’t keep good secrets)
3) Polish high school trophies which you still have displayed….(First off, who has trophy’s from High School? Aren’t those the Coaches or the Schools System? … stop theft!!!!)
4) Refer to your mother as your best friend…( hmmm mom and I were close, but my best friend is those who keep in tocuh with me, a Mom and a Son should be life locked eternally by respect)
5) Rap….( Shoot the rat basturd for doing Rap in the first place, and who but Snoop Doppity Dog does rap for his honey)
6) Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter…(oh, like she doesn’t know they look good and for us to lie would be worse right? And what if she looks like Frau Blure from Young Frankinstein?)
7) Question our footwear… ( oh let me stop you right here…between Jax and Bonnie and Mandy we could start our own Payless shoe store so if we don’t say something about the footware, we will run out of room for it)
8) Blow-dry your hair… (I totally have no idea why this would matter, but I do not blow my hair dry, I am a quick dryer)
9) Tip less than 20 percent….( Amen, anyone that does need to be subject to 13 straight hours of RAP)
10) Celebrity impressions. … (Oh come on now, it’s funny unless we suck at it)
11) Impressions of us….( hmmm so no snide remarks or facial expressions either?)
12) Forget to carry cash…(CASH??? What the heck is that? We are in the debit generation and if I did have cash the girls would pry it out of me, I am a softy dad)
13) Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction….(What The Hell…What are they referring to? A bic highlighter? A Sharpie? The editors must be talking about a dog here , who honestly does that needs special help)
14) Wii. … (Come on that is a family game if you can’t play games together then let’s face it you can’t do much together )
15) Boot and rally….(hmmm lost me here so I will agree)
16) Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for….(Gosh I what to marry this woman I think Belichick is a cheater too!, But when the dog needs a screaming at we go out together and scream at one another)
17) Talk about former exploits. Ever… ( oh come on…life is about past present and future and if you can’t reminise and talk about things, then where is the relationship going?, unless the editor means bragging about past loves in that case shoot the rat basturd and make his listen to rap as he utters his last few words..)
18) Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man…(Hmmm Oh those words are meant for y’all to call one another don’t let me get in the way of females expression hate and discontent for one another)
19) Tell us you're going to kiss us..Just get on with it! … (I couldn’t agree more, giving a road map on your destination is just a bit stupid)
OK where is # 20 what kind of magazine has a top 19?
Wow, those editors have been on the wrong side of dating I see, but in some areas I agree with them. Oh well enough on that stuff, I have Michigan Lake effect snow to deal with. May your Wednesday be blessed and may the rest of the week as well.
A huge wintery Michigan hug and a few well placed Michigan pats
Mart
