I thought the walls I had built over the years would last a lifetime. There are so many of them inside of me. Each wall built after pain ripped through my heart. Walls of protection. Walls to block the next person from invading the already trampled tender ground. Then the next wave of pain would strike. And as each tear would fall, each minute would pass, I could feel myself building yet another cement wall. Protection around my tender muscle. Walls to stop the bleeding. Walls to protect the neighboring chambers. 31 years of cemented walls around my heart. Around my soul. Around my true inner pain. 31 years of hiding behind my walls. Smiling and laughing on the outside so that noone would know my pain. My outer muscles putting on the front to cover the walls surrounding my battered heart. Dying on the inside carefree fronting on the outside. And now, here I lay, 31 years later, with my walls streaming down my face. My walls have liquified and I'm drowning in what has protected me from the hidden pain all these years. I couldn't face it all then, I can't face it all now. I need more walls. Help me. Please help me bury this pain again.
