I sit there, waiting. What am i waiting for? I still have yet to answer this question. Its dark in my room. Really dark. I sit on my bed and smoke a cigarette, watching the ceiling fan. Its storming out side and the rain is starting to come in threw my window.
I just leave it open. Feeling the gust of wind bring in the cold rain. Reminds me of the past,
when me and my fiance would walk around in it. The thunder clashing together in the clouds, almost looks like a dance. My cat jumps on my bed. Dammit. . .I dropped my cigarette. I watch it hit the wooden floor and go out from the rain. Still thinking about what I'm waiting for. What am I waiting for? Why am I here? And who is at my front door at 2:30 in the morning. I open up the door and find out what I was waiting for.
I was waiting for my fiance to get home from work. But instead it was a police officer. They showed up which isn't normally a good thing. He tells me my fiance is dead. They found His car around the block from my house, still on the bridge. I stand there quiet, then a tear rolls down my check. I tell him i need to go to bed and close the door. I go back to my room light another cigarette and lay on my bed. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to think.
Then another knock comes from the front door. its now 3 am. I walk slowly to the front door hoping its not another police officer. I open up the door. . . And there he is. My fiance drenched from head to toe. He falls in my arms coughing. I take him to the bedroom and undress him.
I grab a towel from the bathroom and wrap him in it then i close my window. Hes shaking. I make him a cup of tea knowing thats what he would want. And he sits there. Quiet sipping his tea. No sugar. just the way he likes it. He lays down and I lay next to him.
In shock. . . .Not knowing what to do.
Its cold. Really cold. Then it gets hot. . . .I forgot to turn off the stove and the towel caught on fire. I just let it burn. I sit there and cry, knowing this is what we want. I feel the heat coming from my bedroom door. The whole house already engulfed in flames. I go to hold him and he doesn't move. He is already dead from the cold. So I lay there. And fall asleep with the house burning. . . .I lay there.
And I die.
Knowing with out him in my life. I'm nothing. So we die together.
