alan's blog: "Truth"

I dont know why Im doing this. I have to say that I have really fucking horny right now. One of my friends sent me something and now Im horny. Im just going to have to deal with it right now and wont be able to do anything for awhile about that. I should get going as I have to get up early for work tomorrow.

As I was going to work today I couldnt help but think. You see going to and from work I have alot of time to myself to think. Why is it that when we are alone by ourselves are thoughts seem to come out more clearly? Everyday I think of the same thing going to work and then from work, but then there are those times where other thoughts come in. Some good and some bad. I cant help but think that I get paranoid when I have this alone time to think. Dont we all get like this sometimes. Who can honestly say that when they were alone with their thoughts that they didnt get some paranoia, depression or other down bringing thoughts. Lately I have been doing alot of thinking, maybe even some questioning about alot of things. My only hope is not to fall off the wagon. I know I have gone here before but the last several months only keep me to this, What is going to happen as time goes on. For those that dont know me and for those that do, the one fact that I have to face in my life is history repeating itself. Whose to say I wont end up like the ones before me. To fight back one demon I have to silence it with another. One of my demons I have to say is drinking. To see it and live with it has done its toll on me. I know that if I were to start I couldnt stop. And as I get older I realize that these urges grow more each day. I know I cant live my life like that, never again. I promised myself this years ago. There have been times when I have had a drink, but each time there as always been someone there to remind me of what is happening. Lets then remove those who put comfort in, what then? Are we ever strong enough to fight our demons on our own?

Before I write this I should say this. I am writing this as I was just watching a Truth commercial and this came to mind at the time it was played. You may like this or you may not. Now that I think about it I get really sick of those stupid Truth commercials. I have been watching these commercials for years but I dont understand what gives on theses. I understand that, yes there are chemicals in tobacca but what hasnt already been altered by man. You see they are going after a product, that quite honestly will take time to take effect. Think about it! How many packets of cigarettes, or how long of smoking must you do to get lung cancer? It must take a long time to do this. Now how long does it take for you to get alcohol poisoning? This could only take 1 night. How many drinking commercials do you see to promote non drinking. What once every few months? And what does it cover, dont drink and drive. Gee havent I already heard this before. Of course we have. This is the only thing as a society we are informed of with drinking. Please tell me why I shouldnt know what else alcohol will do to me or anyone else. There are more things that can be done by drinking than by smoking as it wont take long for the alcohol to get into my system and pollute my body. Now that we get on this why not get on the subject on drugs. I cant understand the reason a person will put a man made altered chemical into their body. The things we put into our body is not natural. Smoking use to be natural til man altered it. You know what though we can touch on this one later as Im getting tired and honestly I have to think out how that blog is going to come out to make sure my point is clear and is understood. So off of this think about what your putting in your body and what it can do to you. Quite honestly if I had to choose which one to pick as my weakness, Id choose smoking. And remember next time I feel like having one of these moments again it will be about the issue of people taking drugs. Peace out and night to all who view this blog.