I'm here to address a forest of plaques that state,
"There's nothing as precious as a friend."
I've had encounters with the beast that will stick with me 'til the end.
They'll approach you when you're unaware, or vulnerable,
Or in despair;
Like when you're home, alone at night. They'll slither in
Asking you questions about your life.
"F" is for the forceps I need to get the truth out of your mouth.
"R" is for how you raped me, and it felt good.
"I - E" stands for example, taking the only thing I care about in the whole world and saying it's yours.
"N - D" stands for now I'm independent.
And when they've got you in a trance, they'll take
What you've got through their hypnotic glance,
But if you're strong, and don't give in, their coiled embrace will break. They're such a friend.
"F" is for all the faces that you own (Hint: more than one).
"R" is for what a really, really, really big coward you are.
"I - E" stands for example being disgustingly nice to my face, then going out and speaking ill of me behind my back.
"N - D" stand for now dammit, that's a friend.
You thought I'd be easy prey, but I am too well-armed.
You thought you could take what's me,
But I caught you off-guard
