My life is going to be entering another chapter soon, in what way on the scale it will balance im not sure, but hopefully there will be more positive than negative in the near future....
On april 22nd I shall see my mother and family for the first time in six months....im really scared and nervous due to the condition i left them and i left myself in, i dont know how to coop with certain things that went on there but hopefully it will go well {the close friends knows whats going on}
The doctors want me to come back after i get my insurance to do a biopsy....they think somethings wrong with my uterus due to the constant heavy bleeding and im really scared.....i havent talked about that with my family yet for fear they want me to come back home, and i dont want to go back.......
Also I have fallen for someone really hard, rather this person knows this or not .....I have...but there are certain things going on that are making my mind and heart tell me two different things...my mind tells me to pull because its the right thing to do, but my heart tells me to stay, because he is a wonderful caring person and i deserve someone special like that.........but i may hurt someone else if i do so, and i dont like hurting people.......but he said he cares for me too........and it felt so good to hear him say that.....i felt warm, happy, safe, secured.....everything i wanted to feel in the past i do now.......and i dont want to let go.......financially im stable for the first time ever in my life.........so that is at least going well......but this month is going to bring on alot of decisions that im scared of and they are coming soon............even though hes not here with me, i can feel him holding me tight as i type this out thinking about my family, him and other things in my life....... i will write a continuation on this as more developes, but for now this is all i have......
