I feel a cold hand stroke down my spine, I stretch out to hold the shadowy form my mind presives in this haze, only to find my had pass right threw the memory. Shivering I wake, I look around at the dark room. At the walls and the things within them and wounder how I ended up here. I think about what I am and what I could have become. Of how lonely life has become. I think of the broken dream, and my eyes welm up because I wasnt supposed to be alone any more. I had found my laughter and some how I had shattered it and all that remains is the debree skattered heart. I pull the blankets close and though I am sweating I feel so cold. An unyeilding cold down in my soul. I ponder my exsistance and weither I am truely away or held somewhere cold and asleep. I long for this to be but a momentary dream, such that I would wake and find my home in order and my family whole. I long to believe that all is possible and I try for a moment to hold oto all possibilitys. that moment is only broken by the rage building and now exsploding forth. How dare he promise me that I would not be alone to leave me in the most loniest state I have ever been. To sequester me out i the middle of nowhere. And take al means of my escape away. I throw myself on my bed and cry. I hate him and yet every tear is for a memory, a kiss, a thought, a moment of purfection. I HATE HIM and yet I cry. I am alone . I lay down and still my mind spins. It tells me of all the things I could f or shoulda had and done. My thoughts are so cruel so unforgiving of the slightest error, they scream their judgment upon me and this is the sentance they give. Shouting louder and louder you will always be alone, no one will want you, you are the refuse. You were destroyed from the begining and will never be whole. Fallen fallen Fallen the alarm echos my mined, with hazey eyes I look at the time seering red into my eys until burned upon my brain 7:55. Time to begin again.
