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Sitting in the dark

Darkness is comforting to me. I feel safer here than in the harsh glare of noons son. I am at aww of the pale beauty which is the moon. Her fairnes and gentle glow that shows her soft gentle nature. She is my friend, her and her star companions and I watch them and wish that I could be infolded by the blanket of space. I am so tired of the false warmth of day. I the brightness that tries to hide the sorrow. I see threw the glimering sun and see all that is the fake for what it is. the smiles that are stretched too tight to be happy, the house which is too chaotic and cluttered to be tranquil. The family too strained to feel love. At least at night I am not being flooded with the fake cardboard people on display. The mother and father with their 2.5 children. The house painted and ordered. Atleast at night I see the truth as it is, with noone trying to tell me that some how the sun will make it better. that some how things will not be broken. In this greatest of times, midnight I embrace the destruction of my life and apreshiate each fallen bit of rubble. I swim in pools of emotions. Some times I dive into depths of sorrow, but I knew it was there and so swim in it willingly. I lay and remember each kiss the first and last and hold on to and relish the feeling of each. In this hour I think of those whom I have loved and lost and yet still love no matter how much my heart still bleeds from them. I feel the darkness imbrace me as her child infolding me in her arms and I willingly go down into her. And as I lay upon my bed. I remember each embrace. The fire heat of each man that touched me. The discust of those who stole what was never give them. The loss of inocense long gone. The delight and exsileration of the first taiste of passion and the sorrow of the fruit which has lost its flavor. and then I fall and enter a darkness more vast and without end whch is my soul
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