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What are you waiting for?

The time is 5:07am and its dark outside; it might as well be any one of the hours that exist past twilight and before dawn. The dark only has one color and it matches stains on your shirt and the shadows between the valves in your heart. You think that sleep will come easy tonight but you know that once your eyes shut your brain begins to play games. They aren’t the same ones you played as a child, it is not as easy as hop-scotch or hide and seek but you think back to that simple time and recite those rhymes that made you laugh back then. With a shot in the arms you are brought back to reality and it doesn’t look like the one you had painted with your fingers. A nail gets broken into the colors and the flesh peels and stretches and springs back just enough so that the paint can find its way into your bloodstream. Step backwards because you have a better chance of running the rest of this race with your back facing the direction you’re going. Its really the only way you can see where you’ve been. I could hold your hand but what happens when I fall, and I will fall. I'll trip on the cracks, the same ones that broke your mothers back and the same ones that are gonna continue to creep up your arms until they’ve reached your empty head. It got so mixed up inside that it became liquid and poured itself through you. It made a check through your integument system and it got so close to the surface that it evaporated after it mixed with your sweat. You sweat and you pant and your breath gets lost in the perspiration that streams down your forehead so you hyperventilate just enough to get back on track. Pain and heavy weights pound onto your chest and you buckle at the knees. You’ll fall to them and you’ll scrutinize the imperfections on the ground and the impressions in your hands. It will hurt when you break, it will hurt when you crack and pour out onto the street, it will hurt when you evaporate into air. If you’re too afraid to open up lets take a stroll over open water, it makes the shallow end seem more terrifying and more chilling. You’re fascinating; so come and wake me up and let me be enough by being what I am. You can always make me laugh at my expense and Ill fall for everything because I never stood for anything. Ill salute you but I’m running out of soldiers to raise flags for all our freedoms. Hold my heart like they do when decades go by, like they do when dream sequences make the air around us wobble. I cant stop looking into the sky, no matter what I do. I dream my world in white and color my eyes with blue I still wont shoot until I see the white and blue in my eyes. I still wont shut my mouth until I hear the faith in the air. I’m still awake, it is 5:20am...
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