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What are you waiting for?

a flame and an oath

You throw around I love yous like bread crumbs are thrown to the birds and then you wonder why you get chased away by the crazy lady with the umbrella. I feel sorry for you. You constructed a pedestal out of infatuation that in paper terms would be no thicker than cheap vellum. You glue it together with the words you speak on the first night and the sweat that pools in your back. You wonder why when you stand your desire on top of it; it falls to the floor along with you. You always seem to end up on the bottom and you always seem to stay there way too long.

You know how it feels when you're in love? Its like youre on fire and you are burning brighter than ever before. A fire can be very quickly lit but will always go out without the proper care. How does it feel to be nothing more than a step above a right hand? A comfort for uncomfortable times and once you've served your purpose youll go back on the shelf until youre needed again. There are fires starting up all over, its damn near epidemic.

The romance lead you to a snare and the boredom will be what lets you out. The bait seemed so hopeful but soon you find that this is one of the only kinds of traps that will end up letting you go in the end. Everyone has been left after one night; everyone has felt their heart get warmer only to find their body cold in the morning. It might be a few mornings and it gets hotter before it gets easy and it gets harder before it cools down. Life moves on behind you and you gotta stop wasting it on a notion. A vision leaves an indentation on your mind but you can always fill it up with something more concrete than the idea of love at first sight and at first touch you just need a reason to.

And yet... you can't see what's in front of you. What burns for you longer than any torch set aflame. You know it's there. You feel the warmth of the flame. Ignoring it like it was the plague only because what yearns for you is the same thing you yearn for. How you lust for the heat, the heat lusts for you. Reminding yourself of what true love feels like and how it hurts to lose it.

The flame can only stay lit for so long before it loses carosine. And the torch goes out indefinitly. Never to be reignited. Only to realiaze that you are scared of the dark. Scared of realizing that once what was had will never be found again. Or do you get close enough to the flame to keep the light burning. The risk is one only a true man is willing to take.

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