Love Me Tenderly's blog: "tirred of being.."

Again. my ex. Josh. Is tryin to get me back with him. sike. that isnt goin to happen. Me & my best friend Jamie came up wit a plan tho. So hehe, its time to turn the tables on him. Ima play him like he played me. but its really a bad idea to piss me & Jamie off, & he did a fine job of that so this should be fine. Im goin to make him think that ima take him back & get a few things out of him & then break his heart like he did mine. He said that he loves me & only me, and I even went off on him about him sayin "I love you" to EVERY single girlfriend he has had. Ive said it once in my life to one of my ex's & I meant it. Plus me & him went out for longer then a year & a half before we ever said it. so yeah. If he thinks Ima believe him when he says I love you to me he is on crack. But he said he was gona send flowers up when he gets his check in 2 weeks. I had my ex Jake tell him to get me something other then flowers, and he said he'll do that instead. So lets see if I get anything in the mail by February from him. hehe. Im evil I kno. But only with him. But again. if he thinks he is a player he is again on crack, & also if he thinks he can play me. sike. He's forgetting that ive been there soo many times before that I know the signs. & he is also forgetting im one pissed off independent woman, so he messed with the wrong woman. But yeah. im out. Goin to blast music.

Yeah. so how bout. my ex. Josh. Is tryin to apologize for fuckin up this time. He said that he has alot of thinkin to do. His dad made him break up wit his 13 yr old girlfriend Macy. And again he came back to me. Now im not that stupid. altho he thinks I am. He thought last night that he could apologize to me n that id forgive him. Sike. That didnt happen. I told him that I have no respect for him & that i somewhat hate him. That he doesnt ever have the right to tell me who I can hang out wit & who my friends can be. He said that hes gona come up here n show me that he has changed and that he wont ever fuck up again. Again. Im not that stupid to fall for that, I even told him that I dont believe him, and he also tried to say "I love you" to me. Sike. I told him to save it n that he'll never hear that come out of my mouth to him again. But if he wants to waste his money to come up here & try to change my mind he can go ahead. ok. im done. ima blast music n write some more poems.

I was soo blind for soo long wit my ex. It was pitiful. I knew he was doing stuff wit other girls. I jus never expected them to be 13 again. And he's 18. So yeah. Im jus so pissed off because this entire week he has gotten on me bout bein friends wit my ex and him bein over here all the time, when he was sitting there talkin to other girls and now hes goin out wit one of them and shes a friend of the first he cheated on me wit. So yeah. another 13 yr old. Gah. I was soo blind. I was willing to give up my friendship wit my ex for him. But im glad I found out before that happened. But the sadder part of this entire thing is. That I found out he was goin out wit this 13yr old girl Macy off his yahoo messanger away message. It said "in bed - i love macy 4ever". He didnt even have the balls to tell me over the phone atleast. And this week hes jus bein tryin to blaming random things on me. When hes the one that needed the blame. But yeah. again im single. Gah. Is there sumthing wrong wit me? Im ALWAYS gettin cheated on or used by my boyfriends. =( Anyone think they can change this view for me?

Im getting reall sick of not being taken serious as a girlfriend. I try to do my best and even my exs say that im usually the best girlfriend that they've had and they're idoits for letting me go after the fact. Well my recent ex, who wont get it threw his head that we're not together doesnt understand this. He is mad at me because his friend IMed me on Yahoo the other night n called me hot and he flipped out on me. AND THEN.. I read his myspace email, and if he still considers me his girlfriend well then i'd love to know why he is sitiing there on his school bus holding another girls hand and touching them? and he wont tell me what his explianation for it. There is no reason to do that to me. Never the less.. Before I decided I dont wana be wit him. He cheated on me by going out wit a 13yr old girl time after time even tho she cheated on him. And he was 17 at the time. Can we say JailBait!. lol. But yeah, he took her bak n then waited a week to tell me when I finally found out from her that they were goin back out. So yeah. Yet he doesnt understand why im mad and want to break up.. Gah. why cant I jus find a guy around me and him be a great guy and a great boyfriend. Im so sick n tirred of all these jerks that are attracted to me. Love sucks right now.. Anyone think they can seriously change that?

Some people just I guess dont value our friendship. They're goin to sit there & get really pissed off at me when I tell someone thats lookin for them that they're not wit me when they told them that they were. My fault. I didnt know a damn thing. Atleast u could do is call me and let me know you could be using me as an albi. not that ima agree to it anyways anymore but still its the point. Then if ur goin to sit there n complain to me that the house isnt clean or the dishes arent done and u dont have money and i should give you money. yeah right. my dad is a complete asshole. i hate him. He leaches off my mum 24/7 n its wrong n he doesnt think he can work cuz he's too "sick". yeah right his docs even said hes able to work. so yeah. dont talk down to me cuz u think im scarred of u. yeah. right. im sick n tirred of this. =(

Im gettin sick and tirred of being used by everyone that I met. Some of my friends use me as albi's when they're goin somewhere else, and now its getting to the point where they dont even tell me and then they're goin to get mad at me when i tell their rents or siblings the truth. im sorrie. im not here to be used. specially if u havent been here chillen wit me in more then what seems to be a month. or when you just flat out use me for a computer or some shit like that. then. guys. ha. Well. every boyfriend Ive had so far but I think maybe 2 have used me for something. And Im sick of it. All I want to do is find a guy that likes me for me. That doesnt want my friends, that wont try to hit on my friends. Just a guy to be there for me and care for me. Is that to much to ask for? Then my dad. Gah. that is a long ass story that would take forever to write in here. Ill just say he is the worst of the users I know. He just leaches off of my mum constantly n then he thinks its right to make us do all the work around the house n stuff like that. Gah. im goin to my room n blasting music. try to 4get about all this =( Comment if u please.