Strawberrykiss's blog: "Thoughts"

Well, I been feeling little more tired mostly because I been going on 2 to 4 hours sleep not a day but week that not good when you are ill. Believe it or not it can cause you more pain then you already have and it can make you get sicker easier then you already do because rest heals the body and the soul. Well, almost two months ago my doctor put me on Chemo , yea, Chemo before that my hair was falling out from early stage lupus now my hair is falling out from Chemo and when I went to the doctor today thinking I would be able to get off of it or maybe one of the other pills I take. WRONG he added two more Chemo pills on every Thursday of each week so now I take 6 and I get blood test done instead of every two months or three I am back to once a month sucks but has to be done. The pills I take are POSION pills basically what it comes down too. I hate it too. Then he added another pill that the goal is to help me sleep HUH! we shall see about that I mean I would love nothing better then to sleep a full night even if not daily couple nights a week I took this pill at 8pm its not after 11pm and I am still awake what up with that? I say. HE HE>>>>> Any how why do I write about this because there are some great online friends who have said I care I hope you be okay and take it from me that can mean a lot so thank you to anyone who said I care. And I know how hard it was to find out about my disease and maybe I put something in here that will make it a little easier for that one person if not many more. I keep you posted the goal has been and still is remission of the lung disease no cure and to slow down my RA which is the worst form you could have and hopeful my immune system that was so weak up until a month or so ago hopeful will not get weak from the CHEMO I take folic acid and multy vitiam daily which helps prevent that. One it for 6months which totals out to be 30 days because once a week. My hair is longer then any pictures on here so if I can get it to do something this week I take a new picture to save for when I have no hair left I say that because its a fact but hope it wont have to start all over with growing it lolol.. got to joke about it though you know just have too. Hugs all keep it real.

Fathers Love Letter Link (U Wont Be Sorry) God, guides my life. Even though I am fighting no cure disease Sarcoidosis of the lungs and the worse RA you can have a bad knees and one bad shoulder plus lupus early stage and immune defecincy disease they all tie into each other. I get my strength from God I know he cares when I feel like no one else does. I know he loves me even with my inperfections. Click this link and listen you wont be sorry I promise. http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html I just got to keep believing that god cares, guess that what we call faith. Hugs to all my friends and I have a wonderful father when my parents spilt he raised me he became my mommydaddy he been there for me through heart aches and when I had to face death of a love one for the first time and when I just needed someone to listen my father been there and he continues to be there to this day when there is no one else that I can feel safe knowing he cares. HAPPY FATHERS DAY

Today is Mothers Day and I feel so sad. Between all my illness and disfunctional family stuff that goes on it does not help you know. Then, yea I let it get to me I came online and nothing from no one I had two friends request that was nice but nothing no comments not rates no fans nothing. I read some stuff on here and I just do not get it why call people names and why pick on others. This is suppose to be fun but I do not get it why is everyone just not being real? Any how my Chemo medication is making me feel sicker then I was from my illness but now just more often and different way. My hair was falling out from my disease and now its falling out from my medication. Doctors put you on these pills that can damage your kidney or liver or both and that is very scarey. Then, you get one thing better and something else happens or starts. Just feeling sorry for my self today I guess who knowns or just the fact I got so much going on with my life that I sometimes feeling like I am going crazy. Also, I been trying to find my best friend Bill Manfull or William Manfull and not had any luck with that either last he told me he was not into the internet but over the past few years I found a few things on him. But, not enough to know where to write him or call him at . Well, any how I am off here for now I am trying to up load picture to photo casket so that if I loose my free High speed I have them loaded and it wont take so long this stuff like speedo fast. Well, to any who read this and are mother have a very nice restful day and blessings. Hugs

I never watched the movie because I was one of those people really hit by it not because I lost anyone in my family that day but because the world lost a lot of its people. I guess they were able to grab enough information to make the movie so it seem really real like this is what happen. People calling family memebers to say they loved them. They found out the bomb was fake. They killed two of the bad guys before they broke down the door to the pit I guess what they say is that the bad guy had the plane up side down at one point and by the time the good guys could get to it. It hit the ground and maybe it was on purpose so that it would not get to its location to destory another one of our buildings of America. I was in college that day and several of my friends where in the Libary I heard them scream OH ! MY GOD. One friend said the Tower just was hit by a plan I said no no it wasnt your pulling my leg as I looked in the Libary as the second plan hit and my heart stopped as my school stood there with our mouth open , eyes wide and tears falling down on cheeks. They closed our school that day and we did not come back until the following week. We have lots so many heros be it from Iraq or 9-11 and even at VT. I think we all need to stop and think how lucky we are when something bad happens that are family and Our self stay a live and feel lucky real lucky that we get to live another day, another week and even many more years. Wow! Whelming..... Blessings.