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What are you waiting for?
There is a darkness that lies in wait
Hinding behind hooded eyes it lurks
Looking for a release that can only
Be found at the peak between
Pleasure and Pain, the ultimate release
Even the master must relinquish control
Bound at the wrists arms stretched wide
With baited breath He is waiting for
The first strike to land as the tails
Of the whip fly from Her hand
His soul allowed to purge all the
Fears and anger harbored over years
The Goddess heals Her Chosen
Under the light of the Moon
If they see her at all,
she is the quiet one
sitting in innocence.
They don't see
whats in her mind
the freak that
she will become.
They cannot see
the taint that
blots her soul.
The exposure to
life's darkside
the desires that
are found only
at night in the
arms of another.
Tangled limbs
and heavy breathing
as new heights
of sensation
are climbed.
She continues her
journey always
playing in the
dark while
living in the light.
If they saw
her now would
they see her
as she is
or how they
remember her to be.
just because i love you, it doesn't give you the right to abuse that love.
just because i care, it doesn't give you the right to diminsh that concern.
just because i am in control of my life, does not give you the right to fight me for that control.
just because i have the will to stay the course, does not give you the right to try and knock me from it.
just because i know what i want and you do not, it does not give you the right to hold me back.
just because i hurt, it does not give you the right to gloat.
just because i am me, it does not give you or anyone else the right to try and change me!!!
i want to hear your voice,
to feel your breath on my skin.
to come alive at your touch.
i want to be stimulated,
to feel invigorated.
to touch you back...
i want to know you inside and out
to have that memory with me always
to feel the nuances of you over and over again.
i want to watch you move
to walk beside you
to just be...
i want to...
the pendulem is set in motion,
you cannot take back time.
i know the paths before us
are as hard as any we will climb.
i cannot hold your hand,
you have to go alone.
the obstacles rise before us.
this is not easy, i know.
trust in your heart,
the decisions you have made,
i will do the same...
enjoy your freedom,
a life less filled with guilt.
you deserve happiness as
well as any.
love freely as thou wilt
you are no longer bound...
emotions so twisted your stomach churns...
you know you won't sleep tonight,
yet your so exhausted that sleep is welcome...
now your on your knees before the porcelin
trying like hell to keep the contents of your
stomach from coming up the way they went down...
the cool of the bathroom tile a calming agent
you just can't find through any other source.
the wave of nausea passes so you curl up on the floor crying yourself to hiccups,
then the emotions flood, anger, sadness, despair, hatred, agony, and loss...
the realization that the one thing you held so dear, and took vows to protect is gone...
death is nothing compared to this pain, and that thought rocks you to your core...
Our greed and consumption of resources is leading to the decline of our planet. Like a hoard of cockroaches we pervade even the farthest reaching corners of our planet, destroying its ecosystem in the name of progress. Why? Have we strayed so far from our beginnings that we fail to see that there is no longer a balance to the life around us? Scores of living things snuffed out in the spread of our disease. Thousands of people displaced over our greed. What gives us the right to usurp the lands, and rape its life? Who are we to just take what does not belong to us? Who gave us the right? God? Because he said go forth and multiply all of this belongs to you? I don’t think so. There is something fundamentally wrong with a God that encourages the destruction of life for a chosen people.
sometimes i wonder what has happened to all of the men i have loved. like genuinely been willing to die for. it isn't a long list not by any means. i have always been selective about the character and calibre of man that i have pursued. and yes, i said pursued. i am not one to wait when my heart decides to beat for another. that it has beat for these men for as long as it has i am surprised it has a steady rythm at all.
FOR MY CHILDREN:
i pray that my children are safe throughout their day. that they never know the pains i have survived. i pray that happiness follows them everywhere they go because they deserve to know what happiness is. they deserve the chance to live life without the repercussions of mine. i pray that their hearts are ever filled with love and that they use it to do good things.
FOR MY LOVE:
i pray that i am always going to be exactly what you need AND what you want. i pray that you respect me the way i respect you, that we will always work together. i pray that the lies, harships and heartaches i journeyed through just to get to where you are lie behind me. i pray that the trust i've given to you is not misplaced.
FOR MYSELF:
i pray that i will always remember the life that defines me. that i will continue to forgive the hurts that have slowed me down and the people that inflicted them. i pray that each new day brings peace to my life and the lives of those around me. i pray that i continue to make GOOD choices for myself, my kids and my love. i pray for the strength to get back up when i get knocked down and the wisdom to know that my choices are what led me down the path that tripped me up. i pray for the courage to take responsibility for my actions and the patience to accept the outcome.
i follow your lead. you are my soul. i know this. i couldn't belong to another as completely as i belong to you. maybe i shouldn't give you that knowledge but it seems only right that i do. if we are to have complete trust then i have to trust that you will not take advantage of me, but that you return the trust and faith. i know that together we will be invincible. nothing and no one can tear down all we create because our strength together is undeniable and undefined. i believe this with every ounce of life i possess. the only question i have is do you trust me? do you trust me to surrender yourself completely to me? or does your need for control prohibit you from having that faith? as survivors we have learned to rely only on ourselves but if that's true then we have no true trust. you said it exactly as it is via text a couple weeks ago. we're strong only because of our stubborn will to prove others wrong. i don't want to be strong alone, i want to be strong with you. i want to build you up as you build me. unshakeable, unstoppable, unwilling to give up or give in. i want to be bonnie to your clyde. i want us to move the world, to turn it on its head. i know we can, i've put my hand in yours i've given to you ALL of me. can you do the same?
