DUCKY master of duck fu's blog: "this sucks"

Just wanted to bitch for a minute . how come when u try to be everything for some one they don't want you , but when u treat them like shit they love you to deth . My dad use to have a saying "don't take my kindness for weekness " i think that some people take kindness as weakness i don't know some times i just give up on humantiy . i know when i was a soldier you could bet on the guy next to you when u ask him for his help he was there no questions asked , but in the civialian world you can't count on many people there are a select few you can trust in and then it's only so much you can trust them with . i guess it's what they ment by shell shock or something . i just think i need to get back in the army and get over all this bs ok just wanted to vent.

I HAVE MADE ALOT OF MONEY IN MY LIFE . I AM NOT BRAGGIN JUST STATING A POINT. I HAVE MADE ON SOME JOBS 2500 DOLLARS A WEEK BUT I WORKED 80 HOURS FOR IT I GOT A NICE CAR AND A;OT GO JUNK.,BUT NOTHING I REALLY WANT LIKE A WIFE OR A TRUE FAMILY . I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER THAT I HARDLY SEE . IT IS NOT MY FUALT I TRY TO SEE HER AS MUCH AS I CAN,BUT MY EX IS A PAIN IN MY ASS. I HAVE FOUGHT HER IN COURT BUT EVERYTIME I GET THERE THEY FIND SOME BULLSHIT REASON WHY I CAN'T GET HER. I HAVE SEEN HER A COUPLE OF TIMES . SHE GOES TO MY PARENTS ONCE AND AWHILE AND MY DAD CALLS ME WHEN SHE IS THERE ,BUT I WORK ALL OVER THE PLACE I LIVE IN LOUISIANNA BUT I WORK IN TEXAS FLORIDA NAD ALL OVER THE PLACE . IT IS HARED TO FIND A JOB THAT PAYS WORTH A SHIT IN LA. I AM THINKING I AM WASTEING MY TIME TRYING TO FIGHT TO SEE HER ,BUT THEN WHEN I DO SEE HER I MELT . BUT IT KILLS ME WHEN I SEE OTHER DADS PLAY WITH THERE KIDS AND I WANT ONE OF MY OWN SO BAD. I ALREADY HAVE ONE BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HER MUCH . SO IT IS LIKE I DON'T HAVE ONE AT ALL.SOME TIMES I THINK SHE WILL BE BETTER OFF WOTHOUT ME IN HER LIFE AND LET HER FIND ME WHEN SHE IS READY. IS THAT WRONG TO THINK THAT WAY? I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE ANYINFO WILL HELP I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING 4 5 YEARS NOW AND I AM TIRED ,BUT I THINK I AM FIGHTING A GOOD FIGHT OK ENOUGH BITCHING 4 NOW

i am wondering . what is it all for we are always working hard at being the most sucsessful and attractive people around at the time i just want to know. why? i just want to live comfotable with no worries for once just to know where the money for the bills are comming from not having to worry that my roomate isn't going to make there part of the bills. i think i just need to go back in the army where you get three hotts and a cott only thing you need to do is what you are told and your ok. i guess it is just me being insecure i know is i work my ass off and i still can't see the end of the tunnel it feels like when i work to my goal someone just shows up to chop my leggs out from under me if it wasn't for my freinds here on ct i would have no release from my reality witch is good bc i try to do the right things all the time and as i said in my pervious blog nice guys finish last. so to all my friends on ct thanks bc without you i would be lost in life . i just need to figure out what in need to do in life to balance out my life. i just wanted to vent for awhile. i guess i feel like creed what's this life for i guess it is a illrelivent . i am going to make the best of it while i can i just need to do like my brothe says and just say fuck it and enjoy life and do the best i can if it isn't good enough for them fuckem. for some reason i can't do it i guess it is the responcable part of me the feeling that i need to fit in and for everyone to like me ,but one part of me just wants to be alone and just focus on my work and the other part of me just wants to be with someone . i think it is bc my parents got devorced while i was still 't hate them for it i understand why they got there devorce . just i think it has had a big effect on my outlook on relationships. i push away people that really like me but i am attackted to people who could care less about me that is probably why it took me so long to get over my exgirlfriend. ok i'm done bitchin just wanted to vent. sorry

YOU KNOW A MAN ASKED ME ON DAY WHO ARE YOU ? i said i am the son of lloyd and debby. he said i didn't ask you who your parents where i asked you who are you. it took me awhile before i accually figured it out. You are every person you have been in contact with your whole life. be it good or bad the influences are equil no matter how you look at it be it predudice or love. you have been inpacted by all aspects in your life that i think is the reason my dad use to say "birds of a feather flocks together " you hang out with people you have common intrests, or is it that they have the same influinces in ther life i think you need to find some one you never think you could hang out with and try to talk to them and see what kind of person they are . that is why i'm on ct that is why i like to hang out in here. if i hangout in my home town i will have the same outlook on life, becouse i am 25 year old most of my friends are either married of have moved away.I would get the same one sided tunnel vision that i had growing up in this small town . i have been all over the world ,but home is home the one thing that accutually changed my life is when i was sent to afganistan i had the same redneck view most of the people in the us did. aww fuck them they don't need our help. It's not that they don't need our help it's that they don't know any better that is the way they where raised. I had the pleasure of talking to one of the locals who worked with me there and he said that he tought at first that the americans where evil until he saw that we where there to help inprove thier way of life and now he would do anything to help us even give up his life to protect the new way. that ment alot to me. as an american and as a dad to know that someone really apreciated what we where trying to do for them. Italso made me happy becouse now his children could go to school the one oppertunity he never had as a child. the raining govern ment made it illegal to go to school ILLEGAL not unpopualar like here in the states. I guess you don't know until u do without well i'm done for now i will continue anothe day. JUST REMMBER ONE DAY YOU MIGHT GET ASKED " WHO ARE YOU AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THE ANSWER.

IT'S A NEW YEAR NOW I JUST WONDER WHY PEOPLE MAKE RESILUTIONS. I USE TO, BUT NOW I THINK THAT IT IS IDIOTIC AND RETARDED. THE REASON I THINK THAT IS IS BECOUSE JUST BECOUSE THE NEW YEAR IS APON US DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY WE ARE IT IS NICE TO THINK THAT WE CAN ,BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEW YEAR TO DO THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO IT IN ANY NORMAL TIME. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO IT IN THE NEW YEAR. WHAT MAKES YOU ANY BRAVER ? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO IF YOU THINK YOU NEED TO CHANGE DO IT NOT BECOUSE OF THE NEW YEAR DO IT, BECOUSE YOU WANT TO OR BECOUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT DON'T DO IT BECOUSE OF SOME SHALLOW SUPPERFICAL HOLIDAY . ALRIGHT I AM DONE BITCHIN FOR RIGHT NOW I'LL FINISH IT LATER HOPE YOU LIKE IT OR NOT I GUESS IT WAS MORE FOR ME THAN YOU SO FUCK IT HERE YOU GO

you know why us nice guy's finish last i have figured this out the hard way. here it is we are all nice an supportive we listen to thier feeling and accually care what they have to say. we should just learn to ignore them and just fuck the shit out of them and go to sleep just venting. don't know if i will but going to try i already fuck the shit out of them just need to ignore them now

i am trying to learn how to brows sertiant things but everytime i try you have to be a certant level well i am road kill so i can't so just run me over until i get to be a cherry or whatever now thanks to all my new friends i am free thank you all this place is hard to get started , but after you do you get addicted like crack i guess i never tried crack , but i hear it's hard to quit.

sex drugs rock and roll speed weed birth control someday we will all die so fuck the world let's get high