i am wondering .
what is it all for we are always working hard at being the most sucsessful and attractive people around at the time i just want to know. why?
i just want to live comfotable with no worries for once just to know where the money for the bills are comming from not having to worry that my roomate isn't going to make there part of the bills. i think i just need to go back in the army where you get three hotts and a cott only thing you need to do is what you are told and your ok. i guess it is just me being insecure i know is i work my ass off and i still can't see the end of the tunnel it feels like when i work to my goal someone just shows up to chop my leggs out from under me if it wasn't for my freinds here on ct i would have no release from my reality witch is good bc i try to do the right things all the time and as i said in my pervious blog nice guys finish last. so to all my friends on ct thanks bc without you i would be lost in life . i just need to figure out what in need to do in life to balance out my life. i just wanted to vent for awhile. i guess i feel like creed what's this life for i guess it is a illrelivent . i am going to make the best of it while i can i just need to do like my brothe says and just say fuck it and enjoy life and do the best i can if it isn't good enough for them fuckem. for some reason i can't do it i guess it is the responcable part of me the feeling that i need to fit in and for everyone to like me ,but one part of me just wants to be alone and just focus on my work and the other part of me just wants to be with someone . i think it is bc my parents got devorced while i was still 't hate them for it i understand why they got there devorce . just i think it has had a big effect on my outlook on
relationships. i push away people that really like me but i am attackted to people who could care less about me that is probably why it took me so long to get over my exgirlfriend. ok i'm done bitchin just wanted to vent. sorry
