I met a wonderful man two and a half years ago. He was a wonderful person and I miss him badly.
We met a year after we started talking. (Yes, we met online). We spent 10 days together and they were fun, wild, sweet, romantic, crazy, heartbreaking....all wrapped up in one. We decided that we were "meant" to be together.
I came home from my trip and started making plans to move. He wanted a relationship with ME...all of my baggage. He wanted to be a step dad to my children. I thought I struck the motherload.
Fast forward to May 12, 2008. That was the day my life was turned upside down. We broke up one month before I was to move..one month before I was to get that "new" life that he promised.
So here I am, still wondering around looking for what I lost in him. Still looking for the love that was lost. I have not been the "online" stalker. I have not tried to contact him in anyway. I did leave him a birthday card and I did send him an email when a mutual friend died. That is all.
There is not a day that I do not think of him. There is not a day that I do not cry if I hear "our" song. I still smile if I see our pictures (which some of you have seen in my album), while mourn when I think of the fun we had when we took them.
I must say, as alone as I am, please, if you do not intend on getting to know me...walk away. Do not ask me if I have a yahoo address or if I want to see your web cam or if I want to cyber with you...Rest assured, I do not. This was supposed to be a good diversion for me (thank you Todd), but, it is turning into more of a stressor.
To the ones that have brightened my day, thank you very much. You will not know the joy that a few kind words can bring. This is in no way intended toward you.
If someday I am lucky enough to find "the one" again, I am sure that it will not be from someone who is only interested in "fu-sex" or cyber sex or whatever. I know that it will be someone that actually takes the time to get to know me before they swoop in for the kill, so to speak.
So please, if that is your intentions, just pass me by and leave me alone.
If there is someone out there that wants to get to know me, great. But, know this...I will not cyber with you, I will not view your web cam and I will not give you my yahoo address or any other address. I want to be accepted for me, NOT for what I can do for YOU.
Sorry, this has been a rough day. There has been lots of memories and lots of stress today. Days like today just make me wonder if I will ever be healed again.
If you made it this far, thank you for the patience.
Til next time,
Peace,
Misi
