A few years ago, I met a fabulous man. He was a man that I was drawn to immediately. He made me laugh, made me smile and we generally got along quite well.
I knew, or at least felt that there was an attraction there. And for the first time, it did not feel as if it were an attraction just on my side.
As with everything in my life, there are issues and drama. Love my drama filled life. However, this man was different. Or I felt he was. He, of course, was not someone that was local, or at least to me. So, after several days....he leaves. And then, he is back. After expecting not to see him, he is back. But, of course, he is not from around here, so, he leaves again. Someone that I had become very close to, in such a short amount of time, waltzes back into my life, only to depart again.
As I said, he was different. I figured, at first, when he left the second time, I would never see nor talk to again. I was wrong...for awhile.
There has been talk about the two of us meeting up again. And, even some plans made. None of them have come to pass. He is a busy man, travelling all the time, and when I say all the time, that is what it is...ALL the time. there was just no time for us to ever get together.
I care about him, probably alot more than I would be willing to admit to him or myself. However, when do you just let go? When do you try to move on, just so that you can heal and get your sanity back?
He asked me not to give up on him, and really, I haven't. However, I am starting to give up the pipe dream of us ever meeting again. It is hurting too bad to hold on, when it seems like I should let go. If he doesn't have time to communicate with me, if even just once a week...how can I honestly expect him to have time to be with me...I can't.
I do hope he knows that I do care for him, more than I can ever say here. I just cannot continue to hold onto something that was really never mine, and something that I don't guess ever will be.
Til next time...
Peace
