The waiting which you spoke of the other night, was well worth it. Never felt like that before. Never gave myself to a man like I give myself to you. Never wanted to be taken by anyone the way I want to be taken by you. I lose control, I lose all aspect of time with you. I gain so much by being with you, I gain a different look on life. I don't want to gain weight even though you say you won't care. I don't want to keep being grumpy, or on edge, or worried that in the blink of my eye this wonderful ride will be over with. I've waited so long to be like this with someone. Never knew that I could put away the insecurities, never knew that I could actually trust someone as much as I trust you. Never knew a man that had been so deceived by women that was willing to give this mess of a woman a chance. Give me the ability to write, and say, and even though i am not being paid to think, you allow me to think. I think so much when I get in my car to go home. You're all I think about on my ride home. When i go to try to eat a meal I hear you and see your face. I see that you care that I am unhealthy, I like that you see through me. I like that my shell is not what draws you towards me, but it's me that makes us get closer to each other. I tell you the truth, I tell you how I feel, I tell you things a girl should not tell a man. No more rules, no more being who I am not, no more of who I used to be. You are not average you are above average you are so much higher then the rest of the men I've known, you put them to shame. I am too sensitive sometimes, trying very hard to understand your humor, and learn when you are joking. It is hard, I don't know how to joke around with someone I am with, it was always in the past humor was used as a defense, not a means of fun. You are too much fun, to not joke around with. I hope you know that when I cook for someone it is not because I feel i have to, but because I want to, and it is a form of me showing you how I feel about you. I haven't wanted to cook for a man in a long time, I haven't wanted to be this close to a man in forever. YOu make me feel so real, you make me feel like nothing can stop me. You defend me when it is needed, you hold my hand in public, you open my door, you move my hair before you kiss me. YOu are becoming something I have longed for. You are possibly the best thing on this earth.
