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The Perfect Murder!!!

I've seen alot of stuff my life, and most of the stuff i've seen is kinda stupid. I've seen alot of idiots get caught doing the simplest tasks, such as murder. Now murder can be a tough task, if it's not planned out right. During a murder case, investigators look for the following....connections meaning who could be connected to this murder and the person murdered, motive as in what reason this person was killed, contacts as in who all this person knows and who may have something against them. Evidence may include jewerly, ripped clothin found, DNA, as in blood, sweat, nail, hair and finger prints. So when creating a good murder think about those things. Most people dont really have a motive for murderin someone. They do it for the fun of it, for the adrendaline rush. They love to take risks and live on the edge, such as my self and they've done everything under the moon and still are not satisfied, so they commit murder so they, plan (what they think is carefully) but still they slip up and get caught....DUMMIES!!! So Im here to help you out. Im tired of seeing people do all that work just to end up in prison or on death row. The first step is preparation.....start preparing for this "occasion". Think about this, "Do you really want to do this?" After you have thought about it and you're sure this is what you want to do, then we shall let this process begin. You should always stay calm, this wont work if you're nervous or anxious, and dont try to rush it will only make you use up or time than needed This is what you will need for this PERFECT MURDER. * reynolds wrap or any other plastic wrap * gloves - latex and workin gloves you need both * Shower cap, wig, or ponytail holder * iron pipe or iron bat * trash bags 50 gallon - hefty * tape The first thing you should do is shave of every bit of hair on your body especially eye brows and pluck eye lashes, hair seems to shed at the wrong time. If you are a person who is all about your hair then take the ponytail holder if it's long and tight it back, and the place the shower cap of it, then tape the sides down. If you are not all about your hair then shave it off and buy a wig. Hair from a wig can not be traced back to you! If you dont shave your whole body then wear fitted clothin nothing loose or baggy, that will slow you down and if it rips there's DNA, you're done! Now to prevent perspiration, (sweat)this is where the plastic wrap comes in, cause durin the process you will sweat so wrap your self in plastic wrap, sounds silly but that's what you have to do in order for this to work. Now out on the latex gloves and working gloves to keep from leavin fingerprints and the latex is to hold the sweat from your hands. Now for the good part, the actual task. DO NOT SHOOT, bullets can be traced back to you, it's messy, loud, and people may hear the gunshot, also NO STABBING, that takes up too much time and it's messy as well, it also cause you to sweat more, theres only so much that reynolds wrap can hold. So use an iron pipe or iron bat, one blow to the back of the head, right in the middle to knock them out, now stangle them, once they stop breathing, stuff them into the Hefty bag, and take them to the river and dump them, if you burn the body someone may see you, still that doesnt mean that they can identify you but they ma follow you, so the river is the best place. THERE MISSION ACCOMPLISHED make sure that it's middle of the night when you do this you idiot! NOW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ON BURN IT AND FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING, AND LIFE YOUR LIFE!!! THIS HAS BEEN A DAH'BRITA BROWN PRODUCTION.....LOL THIS IS ONLY PART OF THE STORY, BUT I INCLUDED EVERY IMPORTANT DETAIL!
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