vengeance's blog: "the midget"

This picture was taken by a Lifeflight helicopter flying over Lake Istapoka, (For those of you who are not local, Lake Istapoka is near Sebring, Fl.) That has to be a HUGE gator to have a whole deer in its mouth! Are you ready to go fishing on Lake Istapoka ?! If you ski -- try not to fall. Date: Mon, 1 Aug, 2006 06:14:24 -0500 The alligator was found between Lake Istapoka and Pinedale estates... near a house , Game Wardens were forced to shoot the alligator- guess he wouldn't cooperate. Jayne and Don Hobkirk could hear the bellowing in the night. Their neighbors had been telling them that they had seen a mammoth alligator in the Lake that runs behind their house, but they dismissed the stories as being exaggerations. "I didn't believe it," Don Hobkirk said. Friday they realized the stories were, if anything, understated. Florida Game and Parks game wardens had to shoot the beast... Joe Goff, 6' 5" tall, a game warden with the Florida Game and Parks Commission, walks past the 23-foot, one inch alligator that he shot and killed in the back yard of Jayne & Don Hobkirk... !

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida. Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation: + Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border + Use the dirt to raise the levees in New Orleans + Put the Florida alligators in the moat. Any other problems you would like for me to solve today????

WORDS ONLY WOMEN USE 1.) FINE : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3. Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know its true! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three Rednecks were working high up on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow'." She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.".... Then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are." >>>Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.