vengeance's blog: "the midget"

Funeral Procession A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long >black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, I>know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" > > "My husband's." > > What happened to him?" > > The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." > > She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" > > The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. Can I borrow the dog?" > > Get in line." > >~~~~~~~ Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a >man; Love,to forgive him and; Patience, for his moods - because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Abruptly, the girl stopped the boy dead in his tracks. 'I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.' The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the obligatory cigarette, the boy sat in the driver's seat, staring out the window. 'Why aren't we going anywhere?' asked the girl. 'Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.'