My rant today is on something that is as American as mom and apple pie Kool Aid! This is my rant Why the fuck do you have to be an astrophysicist to make Kool Aid? No matter how closely I follow the directions it still turns out either too sweet or not sweet enough. Ive attempted to make Kool Aid at least a thousand times in my 27 short years and to this day I cant get it right. I could make you Chicken Teriyaki or Cajun Chicken Pasta but ask for Kool Aid and you are shit out of luck. And of course it just happens that everyone you know is an expert at making Kool Aid, making you feel extremely sheepish. Sure we all have our shortcomings but should being impotent in the art of Kool Aid making be among them? Really, how hard can it possibly be to put water and powder together? If I can manage to piss off an entire bible belt community youd think I could do something so simple. I cant help but wonder what it is Im doing wrong. My friend has just informed me that perhaps a measuring cup would help. Ah well I suppose a little humility never hurt anyone. If you are ever in town and would like to indulge in a magnificent Blackened Chicken Pasta dinner I will be more than happy to accommodate you. However if its Kool Aid you wish to indulge in check with the 6 year old across the street from me. I hear he makes the best batch on the block.
