AIGHT, SO THERE I WAS TIRED AS SHIT, SITTING AROUND MY HOUSE. WATCHING MOVIES, DRINKING SOME BUSHMILLS, TRYING TO GET INTO BEING ON CHERRY WHEN MY FUCKING FRONT DOOR GOT KICKED IN!!! MOTHERFUCKER NAMED OF OGRE, YES OGRE DON'T KNOW HIS REAL NAME, KICKED OPEN MY FUCKING FRONT DOOR AND TRIED KICKING MY ASS!! NAH LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT WOULD WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIEK THIS. AS SOME OF YOU MIGHT KNOW I CO-OWN A BAR WITH A COUPLE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS. TONIGHT THOUGH WHEN I WENT INTO THE BAR THIS ASSHOLE GETS DRUNK AS FUCK, REACHES OVER THE BAR AND GRABS ONE OF MY BARTENDERS BY THE TITS AND TRIES TO PULL HER OVER. I GET CALLED OUT FROM MY OFFICE, SEE THIS SACK OF SHIT TRYING THIS, AND GO UP AND PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. I'M NOT ONE FOR TALKING NICELY WHEN I SEE SHIT LIKE THAT. WELL I PUNCHED HIM, HE LET GO, AND TURNED TO HIT ME. THE BOUNCER AT MY BAR, A BIG FUCKER WE LIKE TO CALL "TINY" COMES UP AND GRABS OGRE FROM BEHIND, AND BETWEEN ME AND TINY WE MANAGE TO GET HIS DUMB ASS OUTSIDE. HE TRIES PUNCHIGN AND KICKING, AND SPITTING, AND BITING BUT THE COPS SHOW AND HE STARTS CRYING LIKE A BABY. I TELL THE COPS THAT ALL I WANT IS FOR THIS DUMB FUCK TO BE GONE FROM MY BAR. SO THEY PUT HIM IN CUFFS, THROW IN THE BACK OF A CRUISER AND DRIVE OFF. NOW I'M THINKING HE'S GOING TO THE JAIL, OBVIOUSLY NOT. CAUSE HE SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE AND KICKS DOWN MY GODDAMN DOOR!!! RUNNING IN HE KNOCKS ME OFF MY COMPUTER CHAIR WITH AN AX HANDLE, A FUCKING AX HANDLE!!! WHO THE HELL STILL USES THOSE???? WELL MY BIG DOGS GOT KINDA PISSED AT HIM FOR DOING THAT SHIT, BOWSER AND GANNON ARE MY BIG DOGS BOTH WEIMARINERS, SO THEY START BITING AND PULL OGRE'S FAT FUCKING ASS TO THE GROUND WHILE HE'S SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL AND TRYING TO PUNCH MY BABIES. I GET TO THE COUCH, GRAB MY H&K .45 AND POINT IT AT HIS HEAD. TELL HIM TO SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN OR I'M GOING TO BLOW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF. THIS SEEMS TO GET THE PIECE OF SHIT TO SETTLE DOWN A BIT. MY DOGS WATCH HIM AS I CALL THE COPS TO MY HOUSE. NOW I HATE FUCKING CALLING THE COPS TO MY PLACE, CAUSE IT PISSES OFF THE NEIGHBORS. THEY TAKE OVER AN HOUR TO GET TO MY PLACE, A FUCKING HOUR!!!! MY THAT TIME I HAD GOTTEN PISSED OFF AT OGRE FOR KICKING MY DOG GANNON IN THE FACE, SO I PISTOL WHIPPED HIM A COUPLE TIMES, AND GAVE HIM A PRETTY GOOD FUCKING GASH OVER HIS EYE. THE COPS SHOW, I TELL THEM TO COME IN. THEY ASK WHAT HAPPENED, ASK ME IF I HAD A LICENSE FOR MY GUNS, I SAID YES. ASK IF I WANT TO PRESS CHARGES?!? CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT??? TELL THEM FUCK YEAH I WANT TO PRESS CHARGES ON THIS FAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!! THEY TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, ASK WHY HIS FACE IS FUCKED UP, AND I TELL HIM HE KICKED MY DOG, AND INSTEAD OF HAVING MY DOG RIP OFF HIS NUTS I HIT HIM A FEW TIMES IN THE FACE TO SETTLE HIM DOWN. THEY TELL ME HE CAN PRESS CHARGES ON ME FOR THE DAMAGE TO HIS HEAD, BUT OGRE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE TO INTO THE IDEA. THE AMBULANCE THEN GETS CALLED. HE'S TAKEN AWAY. THEY TELL ME HE'S GOING TO JAIL AFTER THE HOSPITAL. I SHOULD WATCH MY ASS IN CASE HIS FRIENDS SHOW UP, HIS TRUCK IS TOWED AWAY. I'M TOLD HE'LL SEE THE JUDGE IN THE MORNING. I DON'T HAVE TO BE THERE, BUT I WILL HAVE TO SHOW UP IN COURT. THAT'S BEEN THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY FUCKING DAY!! NOW IT'
S POURING FUCKING RAIN, MY DOOR IS BEING HELD SHUT WITH PLYWOOD AND DUCT TAPE CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS, AND MY EXHAUSTED ASS IS NOW STAYING AWAY TO MAKE SURE SOME OF HIS DUMB ASS FRIENDS DON'T SHOW UP AT MY PLACE!! GOD I HATE THIS FUCKING STATE!!!! PEACE OUT AND SHIT ALL.-BILL. P.S. CLOTHED AND REALLY PISSED THE FUCK OFF!!!
