there is a darkness in my heart as of late
i cannot seem to drive away
a sinking, and a pulling
i dont know what it means, or where it came from
it makes me feel so alone
so hurt and dark
a little scared
sometimes when i cry, i cant stop.
i always used to be able to stop
i dont know how to tell him
how to ask him for help.
i know he deals too,
he would think i was just trying to make his problems seem less
too often am i sitting here
at this computer
alone
it makes it so easy to forget most nights
but today....
today it doesnt go away
today it keeps coming
i cooked three pots of baby food today
i made a cake with chocolate frosting
brownies
and meatloaf with asperagess and stuffing
i cleanded the bathroom three times
i vacummed twice
upstairs and down
i cleaned the kitchen i dont know how many times
but it still wont go away
and i still dont understand
and i'm still crying
and i hid it long enough for him to take a shower and leave
god why did i do that?
god why did i do that?
