At the time I love you more than words could say,
I wanted to be with you all the time,
But when I was with you,
You hurt me,
In more ways than one;
I wanted to talk to you every chance I got,
But when I did talk to you,
You put me down,
Made me feel as low as possible;
I wanted to gush about you to my friends,
But when I talked about you,
I could only talk of the pain,
The way I felt;
You said I was your best friend,
I wish I could say the same for you,
You say I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you,
And I wondered why we were so unhappy,
You say you love me,
I ask myself where I lost that feeling,
You say you were happiest with me,
I think of how miserable I was,
You saw this coming all along,
Yet you still left;
You didn’t change anything,
You didn’t treat me any better,
Didn’t even try to prevent it from happening,
Not that you could have anyways;
You were the best I’d ever had,
But I was seventeen,
What did I know?
I didn’t know what love really was,
I didn’t know about heartache;
I ignored everything,
Thinking love would conquer all,
Forgetting that along with love there had to be some like,
Once the love was gone what was there?
Nothing,
Nothing at all;
Had I gone slower I might have saved us,
Maybe there wouldn’t have been heartache,
Regret,
Or pain,
Maybe we could’ve stopped it before it began;
Things have been taken from me that I can’t get back,
Things I wish I still had,
I gave you so much and I wish I never would have,
The regret will eat me inside forever;
You burned me so much,
So much that I’m scarred,
Calloused,
And I don’t have the feeling anymore;
I tried to protect myself time and time again,
You never listened to me though,
Never took me seriously,
And now it’s too late;
Knowing that everything happens for a reason is helping,
Even if I’ve lost something I can’t get back,
You taught me things,
You shaped me,
I know I’d be s different person without you,
Yet sometimes I wonder if life would’ve been better;
I wish I would’ve done things differently,
I wouldn’t have fallen,
I would’ve stayed skeptical,
And I wouldn’t have given myself to you;
Just because of that I doubt we would’ve been together,
Long distance is too hard,
And you’d never move here if you weren’t going to get a piece,
That right there would’ve made me put the breaks on,
But I didn’t do it that way;
I fell for you,
Put blinders up,
And let you lead me places I shouldn’t have gone;
Had you lived here from the beginning,
It would’ve been different,
So different,
I doubt I would’ve talked to you,
Let alone date you;
Now that we’re nothing more,
I’m relieved,
But I don’t feel much more than that,
I’ve felt single for so long,
Without really being single,
I’ve made my peace with it,
Haven’t shed any tears over it,
And can’t honestly remember why I did in the first place;
I sound like nothing more than a bitch,
But I can not deny my feelings,
Or lack thereof;
I don’t know what happened,
I don’t know why I stopped loving you,
Or if I ever really had that deep love I thought I had;
I don’t feel bad for leaving you,
I feel bad for being with you,
For hurting you,
For hurting myself;
I regret believing it was all okay,
Not seeing the light,
Not getting out before someone got hurt,
Now I’ve been hurt so much that I’m numb,
And I’ve left you devastated;
Staying with you when there was no love is worse,
It wouldn’t have been fair to you or me,
I still believe we have soul mates,
I just don’t think that we are each other’s,
Surely soul mates wouldn’t hurt each other so much,
Wouldn’t lie to each other,
Wouldn’t treat each other so bad;
You deserve someone who loves you,
I deserve to be happy,
It’s as simple as that;
We weren’t getting it from each other,
As much as you deny it,
We weren’t,
What is the point in going nowhere?
So I’m saying good bye,
I’m letting you go,
I’m saving myself,
I’m breaking up with you.
