On a day significant to tragedy I feel foolish writing of my own personal tragedies. However, each one of us has our own battles to fight and variety of emotions to deal with. No matter our startus or situation, we're all still equally human.
A little over a month ago, God and his wife showed up at my door and told me I'd better sit "the fuck" down. It was harsh, but it was the only way I'd comply. I'd become a busy body, rising at 5:55am to host a friendly writing camp that began every day at sunrise, followed by a trip to the gym and a full day's shift in life putting me to bed around 2am. Rinse and repeat for over four weeks. I thought I had it made. I was ruling; stringer and smarter then ever.
Even with a fried laptop and all my missing videos, pictures, and music I wasn't letting that keep me down. Even with a busted cell phone I was finiding ways to communicate with nature and those closest to me. Technology wasn't one of my top priorities to master. It was my mind and body and I was styling.
Then the Gods had me clean out my closet. That was the first strike against me. While moving mattresses I managed to step thru a box spring and give myself a nasty laceration on the ankle resulting in a chubby row of emergency room stitches. The very next day my optomitrist decided to add more stiches to my eye with removing some damaged tissue. I'm all for preventive medicine, but already the outlook was griming. Now that I had a new walk that looked like I crapped myself along with instructions to stay off my feet and out of the water for 2 weeks, I was caving. No problem. With school coming up I focused on healing. By the time I'd return home I'd be back in the water and dancing to the playback in my head.
Then Mrs. God left the back door open and let one of my cats out during Coyote happy hour at Granddads. That was the clincher.
I could handle the loss of information on hard drives and all the silly feedback from people about how im still is a long way from being done. I could cope with human error somewhat. But as soon as I heard my cat cry from his brother, my heart imploded. That's when I finally sat down and dried my face of the blood, sweat & tears.
Getting out of dodge was going to be a good thing. I'd arrive in reality once again on Sunday, reconnect with old friends. Ok, so I'll take public transportation and reconnect with old friends.
Bad luck has its way of making you pay attention to what the Gods are trying to tell you. Slow down. Start over. Try a different approach. The beginner's mind is a beautiful place to come from.
With plenty of time to think and plenty of practice writing in cursive, I've decided to start anew, and give the soul a sense of someting fresh; getting me back to feeling good.
