#10. Life is sexually tranmitted
#9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7. Give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6. Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital dying of nothing.
#4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. it pays no attiention to Criticism.
#3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
#2. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
and the
#1. We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-diease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions fo illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.
"Life is like a jar oj Jalapeno's. What you do today Might burn your ass tomorrow"
