StayCee MehRee's blog: "Me"

As I sit here thinking about this holiday season it tends to bring tears to my eyes. I wonder how I went from having everything I could ever ask for to having nothing in a matter of a month.

Aren't the holidays supposed to be a time of joy and cheer? Well for the past 6 years they have been nothing but a dissapointment to me. The last 4 years of Christmas's were spent living with an abusive man who never allowed me out of the house to go to dinners nor visit with my family over 3 hours away from were we lived. I never recieved gifts nor cards from anyone because he was always taking anything in the mail that came in my name. It was like I was in prison when I was with him. Last year in August I chose to leave that man I spent Christmas living out of my car in a wal-mart parking lot with no family or friends to spend it with because I didn't have the money to travel to them nor have a cell phone to reach them. And yet here it is again Christmas time and I have no one to spend it with besides my friends on here. My boyfriend that I was with for 5 months took off on December the 4th to go to Memphis, TN to spend time with his family and told me he would be back on the 26th of this month but yet he has only called me once since he left and not only that he took off with over $250.00 worth of electronics I had purchased with my hard earned money without asking me. I am almost positive I will never see or hear from him again so I am trying to move on with my life but it hurts because it's another Christmas alone, not only that the day after he was to get back would have been our 6 month anniversary. You're probably wondering what happened to my family and why I can't spend time with them. Well when I made the choice to be with this last boyfriend my parents didn't like the fact he was mixed race and basically disowned me and told me never to come around again.

So you wonder now why I feel unloved and why I am sad all the time and why the holidays just don't mean anything to me anymore. This is why. Try putting yourself in my position and see how you feel.

So as it stands the only people I have left in my life it seems are my few good friends on here. I just hope they are good enough to atleast show me some kinda reason to be happy about the holidays otherwise my tears will keep on falling.