HOW I FEEL
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: WEAK IN SIDE :( Friends
I AM SO ONE THAT HURTS SO BAD INSIDE ALL THE TIME, THE PAIN IS LIKE BEING IN A GAS CHAMBER AND TRYING TO BREATH IN BUT IT ONLY BURNS THE INSIDES.
I MISS MY CHILDREN THEY ARE INSEPRATE FOSTER HOMES AT THE MOMENT,
CAUSE THERE MOM SAMANTHA F-CKED UP ! AND LOST EM :(
I MISS MY XWIFE CAROL MORE THAN ANY ONE I HAVE EVER BEN WITH THAT I COULDNT TAKE IT ANY MORE SO I TRYED TO KILL MY SELF ON THE 10TH OR SOMETHING I TOOK 30 SLEEPING PILLS I HURT WITH OUT MY LIFE LONG PARTNER !
ITS LIKE HAVEING A TWIN AND THE LOSEING IT LIKE SOME ONE IN MY FAMILY.
(BILLY I HURT FOR YOU BROTHER)
TIFFANY IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND !
THE PAIN HURTS EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I KNOW I WOULD OF BEN GREETED BY HER IF I COULD OF JUST DIED :( I KNOW ITS NOT GOING TO BE THE LAST TIME I DONT WHY ? I THINKS THATS WHY I WENT TO HAWAII !
I HAD TO GO BEFOR IT WAS DONE "( MAYBE THIS IS HOW I DIE THIS LIFE TIME SUICIDE...HMM RATHER DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART I GUESS. I GOT TO MUCH STUFF THAT HURTS MORE THAN EVER IN SIDE MY HEAD.
AND I NOW THAT WHEN YOU ARE DEAD YOU DONT FEEL NOTHING ANY MORE SO THEY SAY WHO KNOWS. I WAS SO CLOSE TO DEATH I COULD SMELL IT. IT HURTS TO SAY THAT IM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID BUT,I REALY WISH IT WOULD OF WORKED. REALY IS SELFISH BUT WHAT THE HELL MAYBE ITS TIME I GET WHAT I WANT GO HOME TO MY FATHER AND HIS CHILD AND MY GRANDPA JIM AND TIFFANY AND EVERY ONE ELLS !
(SH-T) YOU KNOW I ASK GOD EVERY DAY BUT DONT GET AN ANSWER !
AND ITS ALWAYS THE SAMETHING WHY AM I HERE GOD TO SUFFER YOU LOVE ME TAKE ME HOME TAKE ME HOME IM READY.
EVERY NIGHT I SAY BEFOR I GO TO SLEEP PLEASE DONT LET ME WAKE UP AGAIN LORD LET E COME HOME !
I KNOW THIS IS NOT RIGHT BUT THIS IS HOW I FEEL I DONT WANT TO GO ON WITH OUT MY KIDS OR MY WIFE CAROL.BUT I HAVE TO AND SINCE I HAVE TO BETTER TO BE DEAD THAN TO HURT EVERY DAY !
WELL I KNOW THIS IS ALL A BUNCH OF CRAP TO OTHERS BUT I DONT CARE ! THIS IS HOW I FEEL.I FEEL LIKE A BURDEN ON EVERY ONE I CROSS. NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT MAKES PROBLEMS,ECT. WHO KNOW IF THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME I DONT KNOW BUT IF THERE PLZ JESUS WALK WITH ME HOME DONT LET ME GET LOST ! STAND STRONG WITH AT THE GATE HOLD ME STAND BY ME MAKE ME STRONG TO WANT TO LIVE BUT IF I FALL WEAK PLZ FOR GIVE ME FOR WHAT HAPPENS I KNOW IF I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS YOU WILL GIVE IT TO ME I DONT BELIVE THAT IF I KILL MY SELF THAT I WILL GOT HELL, THERE CANT BE ANYTHING WORST THAN HERE ! WATCH ME AND LISTEN FOR THE TIME WHEN I CRY FOR YOU THEN YOU KNOW ITS TIME FOR YOUR SON TO COME HOME !LISTEN FOR MY PRAYERS I WILL BE CALLING LIKE ALWAYS :)
IM DIEING INSIDE !
