WELL FUC- I DONT FEAL ANY BETTER THE THOUGHTS STILL MAKE MY HEART FEEL LIKE IM FALLING AND MY CHEST GROWS ICE COLD FEELING LIKE I COULD VOMITE ICE CUBES.WHATS WRONG WITH ME ? WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE MY SOUL IS LOST OR JUST DIEING INSIDE ROTTEN MAKEING ME FEEL LIKE IM ALONE LOST AND SAD. I NEED MY FRIEND CAROLS ADVICE BUT I KNOW I WILL NEVER GET THAT ! I SURE MISS IT MORE THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER MISSED ! I CAUGHT MY SELF TODAY LOOKING AT THINGS THINKING BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT SOMETHING I STOPPED REALY QUICK AS SOON AS I FELT IT MY BODY FELT THE WIERDEST IT HAS EVER FELT LIKE SOME ONE REALY GRABBED MY HEART AND YANKED IT OUT TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF IT STILL HOOKED TO EVERY VEIN AND I COULD FEEL THE TEETH SINK IN AND RIP A PIECE OUT ! PHHH THAT WAS LONG BUT I NEED TO TYPE IT OUT SO I CAN GET IT OUT !!! WHY ME ? I NEVER WANTED TO DIE BUT IT FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT LATELY DEATH ? OR BE ALONE ? HOW MUCH CAN ONE TAKE WITH OUT JUST SAYING I QUIT ! I KNOW I CANT TAKE MUCH MUCH MORE OF ANYTHING ? I KNOW I GOT THREE GREAT KIDS THAT I HAVE LOVED BEFOR I EVER THOUGHT ABOUT KIDS CAUSE I JUST FELT THEM COMEING ONE DAY AND WHEN I SAW TESIA I WAS SCARED AND YOUNG I DIDNT KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO IM SORRY I WAS NOT THERE TESIA ! WISH I COULD BE NOW BUT MAYBE ONE DAY OR ANOTHER TIME ! ANDREW MY BIG BOY YOUR MY FIRST SON AND LAST...I LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I COULD EVER COUNT STARS :) AUTUMN MY LITTLE ANGLE GIRL I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH INFACT I MISS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AS JUST THE SAME THERE IS NEVER A SECOND THAT CAN GO BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU KIDS. I KNOW THAT ALIVE OR DEAD YOU WILL GROW STRONG AND ALL MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR LIFES I HAVE FAITH IN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU :) NEVER LET A DAY GO BY THAT YOU DONT SMILE. LIFE IS SHORT MAKE IT THE ""BEST''
COOL SHAGY IS ON ITUNES I SAW HIM IN HAWAII IT WAS COOL BUT EVEN THOUGH I DID I WAS NOT HAPPY BOY MY LIFE IS GREAT !
