i have my dreams and live in reality. sometimes im wrong, and sometims im right. life is confusing. im trying so hard to make something of myself but, no matter how hard i try it doesnt seem to be enough. still i wont stop, ive quit to many things to many times before. i guess i have problems but, im working on them too and they say the first step is admiting it to yourself right? well i know about alot of them and am trying to take the steps nesacery to grow beyond them. ive gotten over my past as ive placed it as just that the past and, im trying to grow up and be a man about things. but its just not going my way ive got app.s in everywhere in town and call to see if anything has opened up on a regular basis but still no calls. i feel like i threw my only chances down the drain. because of personal problems and acting like a child and i regret it. why couldnt i have just done what needed to be done. then i wouldnt be in the situations im in right now. id be a much happier person and i would feel good about myself for acomplishing something. i couldnt begin to comprehend what i was thinking then. all i know is that somethings gotta give life is tearing me apart and its time i fought back. so i guess what im saying is ive taken all i can take in my life. ive followed the path set before me for so long and, im about to pave my own path. this is no longer something small in my life godzilla is a smaller problem than this. and im not takeing small steps anymore im gonna take a giant leap of faith and hope i can land on my feet. wish me luck with this because ill need it.
