BONZ's blog: "stuff"

does ny1 no?

I dialed a number and got the following recording: > > > > > > "I am not available right now, but > > Thank you for caring enough to call. > > I am making some changes in my life. > > Please leave a message after the > > Beep. If I do not return your call, > > You are one of the changes." > ~~~~~ > > Aspire to inspire before you expire. > ~~~~~ > > I LOVE THIS NEXT ONE! > > > > > > > My wife and I had words, > But I didn't get to use mine. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > > Blessed are those who can give without remembering > And take without forgetting. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > > The irony of life is that, by the time > > You're old enough to know your way > > Around, you're not going anywhere. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > > God made man before woman so as to give him time to think > Of an answer for her first question. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > I was always taught to respect my elders, > But it keeps getting harder to find one. > ~~~~~ > > > > > > > Every morning is the dawn > > of a new error. > > ~~~~~ > > > The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: > > "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, > severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with > the > threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time > to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" >

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . > "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished > cleaning." > > 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. > "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." > > 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. > "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of > next week!" > > 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. > " Because I said so, that's why." > > 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . > "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to > the store with me." > > 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. > "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." > > 7. My mother taught me IRONY. > "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." > > 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . > "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." > > 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. > "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" > > 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. > "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." > > 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . > "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." > > 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. > "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" > > 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. > "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." > > 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. > "Stop acting like your father!" > > 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. > "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't > have wonderful parents like you do." > > 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. > "Just wait until we get home." > > 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . > "You are going to get it when you get home!" > > 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. > "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that > way." > > 19. My mother taught me ESP. > "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" > > 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. > "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." > > 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . > "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." > > 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. > "You're just like your father." > > 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. > "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" > > 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. > "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." > > And my favorite: > 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . > "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you >

THAT EAGLES MATE FOR LIFE? Well one day Harry the eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot. Dead! Harry was devastated. After about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. The sex was OK but all the dove would say is "I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!" Well this got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate. He found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was great but all the loon would say is, "I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!" So out with the loon. Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. Again the sex was great, but all the duck would say was..... well, you know...... No, the duck didn't say THAT!!!!! That's an awful thing to think! Shame on you! The duck said, "I am a DRAKE! You made a MISTAKE ! Delete Reply Forward Spam

IN THE PAST 45 MINUTES I HAVE HAD TO TYPE IN THE STUPID ASS LETTERS AND NUMBERS FOR THESE ASS CLOWNS 48 TIMES..SEEMS LIKE THEY WOULD FIGURE IT OUT AFTER THE FIRST FEW THAT I AM IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM USING A BLASTER...THIS SHIT OF CHANGING THE SITE EVERY DAY TO SUIT THEMSELVES HAS ME SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING TAKING MY SHIT AND LEAVING FOR GOOD..IT IS BULLSHIT AND I AM PISSED!...TO MY FRIENDS...LUV YOU GUYS AND GALS, BUT I AM THROUGH WITH THIS PETTY ASS SHIT!!!! GARY

To make it stand, you wet it ! To make it wet, you suck it ! To make it stiff, you lick it ! To get it in, you push it ! - - - Damn !!! - - - Missed again .... - - - Threading a needle when you're older is NO JOKE ! Wot were you thinking it was???

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to "explain God" I wonder if any of us could have done as well? EXPLANATION OF GOD: "One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers." "God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because He hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off." "God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere, which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have." "Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church." "Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K." "His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth, so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important." "You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time." "You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God! Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway." "If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids." "But... you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And ... that's why I believe in God."

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty! You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate !" "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late." "So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste." "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced." So, whatcha' doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city . They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." "Oh, really! What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd you get the shitty hairdo?"

I HAVE POSTED,SCUSE ME...REPOSTED I BULLETIN..IN ALMOST THE WHOLE TIME I BEEN ON TODAY...I APPARENTLY WAS REPOSTING TOO FAST....WOW HAS OVER 7 MILLION PPL ON THEIR SITE..AT ANY GIVEN TIME...WITH 43 SERVERS...AND CT CANT HANDLE LESS THAN I MILLION??? SOMEONE IS IN A DREAM WORLD...GET A FUCKING JOB, CT! DONT LIKE WHAT I SAY...FUCK YOU...DELETE ME NOW THEN!

THOSE OF U THAT NO ME..NO THAT MY MAIN PUTER IS IN FOR REPAIR...THOSE OF U U WHO DONT....CYA SOON