I try so hard to be happy but what's the point? I have nothing left to give. So much love but it's a waste for it seems to matter not in the end. Family moves on with their lives. Friends come & go. Past love fades into new loves. New loves becomes longtime relationship. Relationships become stale & one or the other forgets the other & only cares about themselves & starts looking at others. The other becomes frustrated & starts trying to find other ways of finding attention. I've seen it happen a thousand times. Nobody cares anymore. So tell me why should I keep caring? Why should I be everything everyone wants me to be till there's nothing left for me when nobody notices & nobody cares? *sigh* Maybe I should just stop thinking so much.
I'm so sick of all the negative energy i'm surrounded by. When did humans become so weak that they decided it is easier to be angry & negative & feel nothing but cold rather than take a risk of getting hurt. I have been hurt over & over in my life by fathers figures, family members, the few real loves i've had, etccc. BUT i refuse to let life kick me down & make me cold. I'd rather love & lose than never feel the fire & passion that comes from loving someone. I enjoy the game too much. I love the chase, the capturing, & the loving after for how ever long it lasts.
So if there is anybody positive out there who would like to say something feel free to. I need some positive energy to feed from for once. I could use some new entertainment. But remember I can give as good as I get.....lol. Stay sweet.¢¾
I want to say something to everyone who's quick to bitch about the problems of the world & how life has become a hinderance not worth enduring. If you're going to be quick to complain than be quick to act. Yes the world can suck sometimes but get over it. Pick yourself up & move on. Happiness is a state of mind only YOU can achieve within yourself. Stop relying on others to provide it for you.
I use to depend on others to make me happy, believed their false promises & blindly accepted their lies until one day I had it slapped in my face. I went into a depression. Cried every night, turned to another to comfort me, etc.... And then one day I looked at my beautiful baby boy sleeping & realized I couldn't do this to him or myself. He needed a mom who was at least somewhat emotionally stable. So I took a deep breath, looked inside myself, & rearranged my way of thinking. Am I happy ALL the time. No. That's unrealistic. I am human after all, at least for the most part. But when I get down I look at my son & I remember the good things in life & remind myself that I refuse to let the evil & unworthy of the world kick me down. I'm better than that. And I refuse to apologize for who I am & what I want.
So, my point is only YOU can make YOU happy & anyone who makes you unhappy isn't worth your diamonds. So save them for yourself. And remember to LIVE. For not everyone gets another chance to screw it up.
So Be good & if you can't be good, be careful. Stay Sweet
Another week come and gone. My birthdays in a couple of days but at this point it's just a reminder that i'm getting older and still have not done anything I ever dreamed of doing other than becoming a mother. I haven't been perfect in my life but I have no real regrets. Regrets are for people who make mistakes and don't learn from them. I've learned my lessons well and some I wouldn't mind repeating...lol. I try to live my life the way I chose to live it. I toe the line society draws without actually crossing it. And if I hurt people along the way, i'm sorry they got hurt but i'm still not sorry i've done what i've done. There is a method and purpose to my madness even if it's only known to me. I live and I love. I have loved more than once in my time and I have loved more than one at a time but in diffrent ways but none ever stay forever. For forever doesn't exist and happily ever after is for kids and fairy tales. But I accept my purpose in this life and I help those who need me while they need me and when the time comes I let them go and move on to the next soul in need. It's a lonely rode I walk but I have no regrets, I live for those who need me and love them deeply. They know i'm loyal to the death as long as they are loyal to me and if ever needed they can come to me. Okay done rambling. Stay Sweet..........
