Rev's blog: "WTF?"

So... a couple of months ago I was out with my parents at their local watering hole, sippin a drink and feelin fine. The evening progressed and I got drunk. This was the time that my mother chose to ask me if I wanted to go and see Sydney Devine with her.

WHO THE FUCK IS SYDNEY DEVINE? I hear you ask. Well, he's a kind of Scottish country and western Elvis type guy. I'll post an example of his 'singing' in a comment.

So... I'm drunk and I'm like 'sure mum, we don't do enough shit together, I'll go with you, it'll be a laugh'. And my dad's like 'son, it's Sydney Devine, you used to cry when your mother played that shit to you when you were a child'. But, I'm drunk, I want to make my mother happy, so I'm like 'yeah, dad, I'm sure, are you going?' To which my father replied 'fuck no'.

Anyway, I'd forgotten about this shit until about ten minutes ago when I got a text from my mother which says "hi son, i hope you're looking forward to seeing Sydney tomorrow night, i'll see you at about 8pm. love you, mum x"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Did I say fuck? There's NO way out of this shit now. It's way to late to make up some excuse that she'll buy at this late stage in the game. Nothing barring serious injury or death will get me out of this. I have to go. I'd rather have my eardrums pierced with Bounty's cock, but I can't get out of it now.

Somebody fuckin shoot me...