badboy's blog: "some stuff"

it's taken 12 years of my life but for some reason i feel like God has placed a woman in my life who has been there for me through my ups and downs

i love her so much that i spend every moment thinking about her and how sweet she is to me

and to think i didn't think it would ever happen

but now it has and i don't want to ever let her get away from me

as i reflect on my family...there are many things i wish i could have changed about my own life

so much has changed in my life....it's kinda funny as i think about my family

my dad...he's a great guy and even though he and i had our troubles seeing eye to eye i looked up to him

my mom...she will always be an inspiration to me

a year ago around this time i was dealing with heartbreak....a letter i got tore me apart for at that point in my life i realized my life was over...adn when i read that dear john letter all i could do was cry knowing that it was over for the woman i loved and me....

fast forward to this year....when i came home i learned that the woman who i cared about had become engaged....and i as take a look back on that part of my life i see that i lost her because i was not honest with myself and with her....and if i had the chance to do it all over again i would have opened up to her more 

everywhere i go i see all of the memories of us...but i know she's happy with her new man and now that see where i went completely wrong i now must go on with my own life and find my own happiness

if she can do it, then so can i 

and i will not give up until i find that special someone that can help bring me as much happiness

sometimes when it comes to making decisions about our loved ones and their health, we have to make choices that sometimes are unpopular yet it could save their lives. But also we sometimes have to let go of them and sometimes that isn't easy to do.

Is it painful? sure it is. at the same time we go through tough times ourselves and when it comes to taking care of our own health and ourselves we sometimes get wrapped up in trying to take care of those that we love that we sometimes we forget about ourselves.

sometimes life can be a royal pain in the ass.

many of my relationships have come apart because i feel as though i'm at fault

and to be truthful i am the one who screwed up and as a result have no special lady in my life

but i am not gonna give up for someday my princess will find me

you know when i was young i liked looking up to grownups for they had so much to show us and teach us my role model was my mom she showed me so much love it wasn't funny even tho i put my mom through a lot of hell she still loves me even today i love you mom my mom is a sweet woman who raised me the best way she knew how like she was both mom and dad

u know i was just thinking about this the other day sometimes as grownups we shed our emotions and at times we make decisions that sometimes hurt us more than we realize and sometimes we cry as well people have told me that when we cry it makes us stronger as people my thought is i know today i can cry and not care if im referred to as a coward for doing so in fact just the other day i felt really bad for when i told my own brother he needed to grow up and be a man and stop acting like a coward funny because his wife miscarried a baby and for the first time i got to see him cry and i felt bad for having treated him like sh*t for being so hard on him u know we go through life and sometimes we make difficult choices my sister in law broke things off with her lover and chose to stick by my brother's side in spite of his troubles and im proud of them both i found a video that proves grown men do cry no matter what we cry and anyone who says we are weaklings should get their head examined

who says grown up men dont cry.....whoever says crying like babies isn't manly need to take a look at themselves. when we cry we are showing our human sides and we get called cowards for shedding our tears growing up i was always told its not manly if we dont chow our emotions and honestly i wear my emotions on my sleeve im not afraid of crying and no one should be afraid to do so for we are all humans women and men cry and if they dont they;re not human

color of night by chris wright it was 14 years after dr capa had a nighmare run in with a psycho killer that dr melissa pineda took over his practice dr pineda has excelled in her line of work as a psychotherapist and as well as experience in the field of police work at 44 her experience not only in police work but pyschotherapy has made her an ultimate person to have around as she opened up her new practice she was ready for the rigors of her new job as well as her first day on the job. as she was greeted by her secretary, laura winslow, she was excited and nervous miss pineda u have a client scheduled for ten o'clock and another at 11 as she took a look at her paperwork she noticed one of her patients was a cop named chris wright, one of the LAPD's best detectives who was also going through some tough issues as he recently lost his wife due to being killed in a fire and of course coming under fire for his investigative tactics but he was also going through the loss of his mother and father as he tried to overcome these obstacles her first patient was a young woman dealing with the loss of her sister, and as melissa poored through the file, she noticed she was chris's ex-sister-in-law. how strange, she thought as she sipped on her french vanilla cappacuino