741184's blog: "Some stuff I wrote"

I miss you baby, Where is that promise you said you would keep. I need you here, Alone in my world I struggle and fight to sleep. Saddened by your departure… Angry for your betrayal. My heart is now torn, Left wondering if I too did fail. The gift of your time you did fill with me, Conflicts with the emptiness you left behind. Trying to make sense of the senseless, I search my soul for answers I will not find. You were always a free spirit, So beyond wild and free. You told me to fight.. To believe in what was inside of me. Now it was you who didn’t listen… And has been taken in your prime. All for the pleasure.. Of a twisted moment in time. Your choices, no matter how foolish.. Were choices that only you could make. I have only one wish, for a moment.. You thought of how hard it would be for us to take. Selfish I know, I hate you for doing this to me. But one thing will not change.. I’ll always love the person you use to be.

Clouded are the eyes of love Diminishing the deceiving reasoning of night I offered my breath in your hand The breath is returned… unharmed in spite Yet no leniency is shown More was stolen than one would first perceive death would have been much more merciful than the hollow soul you left behind to wither and grieve a dark black past is my most valued possession in time as distance clears the memory to a dull fog now only seeing with familiar hate I feel the comforting darkness begin to shelter me As I begin losing sight of all feeling Nothing more than living dead blood burns cold through my veins Destroying anything in its wake Leaving nothing to believe in But the ugliness of harsh truth Now seen clearly without the light Fueling the anger burning within A battle of war of my soul begins within Between the person I had become Fighting from being smothered by the person I once was what I fought so hard to become I can no longer bare the pain to be Limbering in a twist of fate I can not bare to let go of the person that holds the pain.. Hating everything, everyone Staring into the cold abyss of my bleak future Wanting nothing, no one There isn’t anything to spare me this torture Nor does it all seem to matter within No longer caring for anything or anyone It’s now only out of morbid curiosity of which will win..

Hearing the scurrying and squeals As the rats swarm everywhere.. I fight and trash about, trying to keep them away, as they attempt to tear me apart.. everywhere I turn, another attacks ripping them away, as I struggle to pull myself up I watch them scurry back to their dark little holes Pieces of my raw flesh hanging between their sharp jaws Alone once again, my wounds start to heal I am not ashamed by these scars They remind me of how I became so strong Instead I cherish them. My skin now thicker from lessons learned I am now stronger and wiser,… more prepared for my next meeting with the rats of life.

Awakening The darkness in my heart grows thicker for you Emptiness flowing through my veins, turning blood colder than ice Your words are a venom that burns my ears Why must you be this unbearable plague? The impending sorrow you put upon my soul It felt like the weight of all Hell itself I could feel it breaking my back, crushing my hope Giving me not a single moment of rest and peace You have filled me with a false hope of love and happiness Only to rip it back, wounding my very core deeply My fake Heaven and joy stripped away forever Replaced only by a Hellish nightmare that seemed eternal Why did you hand me this torture so freely? Some sick sadistic game you play for fun Leaving my mind shattered and devastated Damnation itself would be too kind for your cold heart I am done with you now You no longer have control over me The energy you once drained now replenished No longer feeding your desires of destruction In the end, you have changed nothing in me Our time a complete and utter waste of energy Meaning nothing more than an inane mistake once made This game is finished, now and forever