the other day i was online, checking out my fubar, like i always do...and he just decided that he wanted to say something. i tried to be "friends" and talk to him, but i just couldn't keep on like that. it was ridiculous. so i sent him a message, saying 'please don't respond, saying you understand. i don't want to think of you, i don't want to see you, i don't want to talk to you anymore. i don't need an explanation, i don't want you to apologize...' or something along those lines. that was about a week ago, so what does he do? sunday night, i was in a good mood, my week had gotten better. i was ok. then he says to me 'i know you have a hard time letting go, and i understand. i just want you to know that whatever you need i'm here.' or something like that. i was so angry! i told him, he must not understand, or he wouldn't keep trying. i really don't want to think about him anymore. and i miss him, but i don't want to. and, stupid as i am, i told him how much it hurts for me to know that he's the only one that i want to make me feel better, but he can't. that's why i can't keep talking to him, because it will never happen. and he said he was sorry. so, he pretty much did all the things i told him i couldn't handle. i told him i don't think he is, which is the whole point. and he didn't say anything after that. but damnit! why did he do that? don't you think, if he really cared that much about how i feel he wouldn't have done this? he sucks! but i do miss him. and i was almost ready for a break through, lol, and then he just had to say something. now, i'm back to square one. :( DAMN HIM!!!
*whatever*
i'll get over it. but if he does that again, i'll be so pissed. i'll just start going off on him. maybe if i'm a bitch about it he'll leave me alone. that's IF he tries to talk to me again. you know? maybe he gets it now, after i told him twice. i hope he does get it, and just leaves me alone!
*anyways*
that's all for now. i just thought i'd vent some...so bye~bye
xoxox
Miranda
