A peice of my life.
I just wanted to share a brief peice of my life with the youth out there
I have written my life down in hopes to encourage todays youth to make
good decision and when things do go wrong it isnt the end. Life does go on
and they can get back to good
3 am: Oh gosh is he awake again. It seems like I just put him to sleep. Well I better get up before his crying wakes up his sister. (after rocking the infant back to sleep and feeding him lays back down in bed) Geez how did I possibley get here. I'm 20 with two kids (2 1/2, Sara and 9mo. Logan) barely not living on the streets. Although my life has been alot worse before. I had so much potential and very high values. I didnt grow up poor or in this life style, but some how I got here...
Aww.. Yes I remember it now. It seems like it was a life time ago. I had just turned 17. Me and my boy friend had just gotten into a huge fight and it looked like it was actually over for good this time. I was crying on my bed around 10pm friday night. He had taken his promise ring off and fung it at me. We had been together for over a year. He was the guy I had given everything to. My first real relationship. The man I lost my virginity to. I had taken several pregnancy test in the previous days and they were all negative. So I was pretty well convinced that I was in fact not pregnant. Well crying on my bed I had gotten this aweful feeling in my stomach and decided to take my last pregnancy test.
3minutes later... postive! how could this be. It has to be a false positive. I couldnt think straight and was crying so hard I couldnt breath. I was still wearing a neck brace from falling off the back of his truck after playing around with our friends. I couldnt be pregnant. I was a good kid and very active in school. I had gotten in trouble with school before. Ive always been hard headed. Correcting the teacher, not doing home work and skipping class. I knew it was all wrong but there was so many other thing that were so much worse I could have done. Drugs. sneaking out. partying. I wasnt sleeping around. I had only even kissed 2 other guys in my life and it wasnt even making out. Why me... so many other girls in school were having sex with lots of guys. He was my only. How could I be pregnant.
ring... ring... ring.... my cell phone went off. It was him. I answered my phone. Hello? (sniffle) He automaticly started apologizing. "baby, why are you still crying? I want to be with you. Im sorry. please forgive me." Of corse I forgave him. I had a bigger problem on my plate. I was going to have a baby. I told him.... silence.... Hello... are you still there.? did he hang up on me. then he whispers something "are you sure?" well no but the test says I am. How am I going to tell my parents. Will I ever finish school.
I have a calling to help teens get through some of the things I went through.
Rape, friendship, school, sex, teen pregnancy, peer preasure, marriage, running away, homeless, abuse, and much more.
It took me 9yrs to come to terms with some of the things Ive endured. All I ever needed was for some to say.
, Hey Ive been there without me having to tell them everything. I just now hope that I can be that for someone else.
Maybe then they wont make the same mistales or suffer in silence for so long.
A little about me.
my name is Jessica Burke but I go by Jessy. My story starts at 12 with rape and hopefully ends in happily ever after. I grew up wanting to be a missionary, but I let life take me away from that and am barely making it back to there now. I have 2 children and I am currently married, but that will just add another chapter to my book. I grew up in a upper middle class family. My parents never divorced. I currently live hours away from my parents in a run down trailer. You have to lay in the bed you make, but you can save up to buy a new one. I dropped out of high school and ended up resorting to ashameful thing to survive and feed my kids. Many people sick there nose up at me without ever understanding what happened. That is ok. It is not them I wish to help.
Please contact me if you are interested in hearing anymore of my story or know anyone else that may benifit from sharing my story
