1.
You've started buying rice and toilet paper in bulk. Your parents attribute this to a gastrointestinal problem.
2.
"Virgin" has a different meaning for you than most people.
3.
When filling out forms, you list your occupation as "unconventional conventionist" and nationality as "Transylvanian."
4.
At family reunions you substitute the Hokey Pokey with the Time Warp.
5.
You were disappointed to learn that Denton, Ohio is not a real place.
6.
The salesclerks at the local lingerie shop know you by name... and you're a guy.
7.
You brought a water pistol to "Titanic", trying to encourage audience participation.
8.
When watching "Spin City", you have an uncontrollable urge to yell "ASSHOLE!" at Barry Bostwick. Your concerned roommates think this is a form of Tourrett's.
9.
At a Carly Simon concert, you shout "SAY IT! SAY IT!" during "Anticipation."
10.
You've considered buying stock in Scott brand toilet paper.
11.
You start wondering: Whatever did happen to Fay Wray?
12.
Even smiling makes your face ache.
13. You understand this list and know when to laugh.
