Sexual issues blogs Blog by NeaNea
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Spicing Up Your Sex Life You've been together for years. The relationship's good, but you look back on the frequent, mind-blowing sex that you had in the early months and years and wonder, "where did it all go?" These days, sex is the same old, same old. Something you do on a Friday night, without variety, without much excitement. Your sex life is in serious need of spice! A weekend at a fancy hotel, without the children, will do it, but that's expensive. There are plenty of creative, less costly ways of turning up the heat. Try role playing. You both get dressed up, go to a bar - separately - and then he has to try and pick her. Or she has to spot him in a bar and make a move on him. Be outrageous, then cool and withdrawn. Have fun. Do a little "dirty dancing". All you need is some Latin music and a few scarves. Think of the great exercise you'll get at the same time. Rescue your sex life from the doldrums by dressing up as a fireman or a policeman. Turn her on with laughter - put on your partner's sexy undies and flounce into the bedroom, hairy chest and all. After all, women often say that a man's sense of humour is the sexiest thing about him. Talk dirty to your partner. Use all the expressions that would make your mother threaten to wash out your mouth with soap - "screw me hard" kind of language. He will be shocked and oblige. Call it in: you get on a phone in the bedroom, with your partner on a cell phone in another room, describe what you are doing, what you're wearing, how you are becoming passionately aroused. Your partner responds with how he could take care of it. The simplest things can wake up a dormant sex life. When was the last time you sucked her toes, kissed the inner aspect of her thigh, licked his chest? You don't need a frilly lace teddy. Use your imagination!
As a special request i was asked to do a blog about trying to concieve, and ways to help. I had a very hard time with this, tried for almost 2 years, before i had a successful pregnancy. i am now 32 weeks pregnant so if your wondering what worked for me... well first of all i stopped trying so hard. second i used to try and hold my legs in the air and do everything i could to keep the semen inside of me as long as possible. When actually you should let it naturally come out on its own because that way it flows over the cervix. i also had sex on the kitchen table. as funny as that sounds it worked because the semen was deposited directly onto my cervix lol. here are 15 tips for women trying to concieve, and women who are already pregnant: 1 - Have sex in the morning, since the semen has the highest sperm count then 2 - Being overweight or underweight during pregnancy may cause problems. Try to get within 15 pounds of your ideal weight before pregnancy. Remember, pregnancy is not a time to be dieting! Don't stop eating or start skipping meals as your weight increases. Both you and your baby need the calories and nutrition you receive from a healthy diet. Be sure to consult with your doctor about your diet. 3- Try to have sex in the missionary position, since it deposits the sperm closest to the cervix 4- Stay faithful to one, uninfected and equally faithful partner to prevent the tragic consequences of a new-born with HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases. Discuss your own and your mate's sexual history (and any injected drug use) with your physician - and get tested for HIV or other infections, as appropriate. Even if you have HIV, for example, proper drug treatment can often prevent your child from becoming infected 5-You should not eat swordfish, shark, king mackerel or tilefish while you are pregnant or can become pregnant. These large, long-lived ocean fish accumulate mercury pollution as they eat smaller fish. If you then eat these fish, the mercury can accumulate in you and hurt the development of nervous system of your unborn child. The Food and Drug Administration also advises you not to eat these big fish when you're nursing a baby - and not to fee these fish to small children. 6- Eat plenty of green, leafy vegetables AND swallow a multi-vitamin containing folate, or folic acid, (a B vitamin) every day, before and during pregnancy 7-Avoid soft cheeses. Those delicious brie and Roquefort cheeses, particularly those famous unpasteurized products, are easily contaminated by a tough bacteria called Listeria. Ordinarily, people are not much affected by Listeria, but in pregnant women the bacteria then can cause violent vomiting, flu-like symptoms and loss of your unborn child. This loss can occur even before you know you're pregnant. 8-Beware raw meat - and your cat. They may harbor a parasite that causes toxoplasmosis. If you get it while pregnant, your unborn child has about a 40 percent chance of contracting it too. In early pregnancy, this can cause the child to be blind, deaf and mentally retarded. The parasite can be found in cat feces, soil and infected meats that have not been thoroughly cooked. Cats get it from eating infected birds, mice and rats. So keep your family cat indoors to reduce its chances of getting the parasite - and have someone else clean its litter box, so that you don't get it. 9-Avoid smoke, as well as smoking. Smoking increases the risks of an underweight baby and of stillbirth, the birth of a dead fetus. Smoking and also passive smoke exposure may double the risk of a rare but devastating condition called persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn. In this condition, infants starve for oxygen because blood is not pumped through the lungs to the body but continues to flow as it did before birth and the activation of the lungs. Without successful surgery to correct the flow, the infant may die. Babies born to women who smoked during pregnancy are also more likely to have asthma and other respiratory problems. They also are more likely to die of sudden infant death syndrome - SIDS. SIDS reduction campaigns emphasize positioning infants on their backs for sleeping as well as keeping cigarette, cigar and pipe smoke away. 10-Avoid x-rays, hot tubs and saunas. They pose environmental risks for pregnant women. If x-rays are needed for medical reasons, your doctor will shield your abdomen (and thereby your fetus) from the rays. The March of Dimes also suggests pregnant women try to avoid infections. Rubella (German measles) during pregnancy can cause ear, eye and heart abnormalities. You can be tested to see if you've been exposed and are immune. If not, you can get vaccinated - but then should wait three months before getting pregnant. For avoiding many infections, frequent hand-washing can help. 11-Exercise moderately. Walk, swim, ride a stationary bike and/or join in a special prenatal aerobics class three or more times a week. Even a vigorous workout is ok for most women and may help you carry your baby to full term. Not so advisable: bouncing or jerking movements, toe touches, knee bends and sit-ups. Doctors generally counsel against any vigorous exercise that has you lying on your back after the first three months of pregnancy. Injury-risking sports - skiing, rock-climbing, horseback riding - aren't good bets. But regular, safe exercise can make labor easier and prepare you to get back in shape afterwards 12-Take folic acid daily both before pregnancy and during the first few months of pregnancy to reduce the risk of birth defects of the brain and spine. All women who could possibly become pregnant should take a vitamin with folic acid, every day. It is also important to eat a healthy diet with fortified foods (enriched grain products, including cereals, rice, breads, and pastas) and foods with natural sources of folate (orange juice, green leafy vegetables, beans, peanuts, broccoli, asparagus, peas, and lentils). 13-Be sure to see your doctor and get prenatal care as soon as you think you're pregnant. It's important to see your doctor regularly throughout pregnancy, so be sure to keep all your prenatal care appointments 14- Drink extra fluids (water is best) throughout pregnancy to help your body keep up with the increases in your blood volume. Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water, fruit juice, or milk each day. A good way to know you're drinking enough fluid is when your urine looks like almost-clear water or is very light yellow. 15- Relax, too. You don't need a lot of stress during pregnancy, or before pregnancy either! Summing up, you just need a good clean, healthy and uninfected man; a doctor; a good diet; a vitamin pill, and a work and home environment where you won't be needlessly exposed to tobacco smoke, pesticides, alcohol and other potentially harmful chemicals, drugs, mercury, soft cheese, undercooked meats and kitty litter. i have heard many myths about being pregnant, so here are a few myths and a few facts cleared up for ya! 1 If a couple is having trouble conceiving a child, the man should try wearing loose underwear That's a fact, according to a study on "Tight-fitting Underwear and Sperm Quality". Tight-fitting underwear--as well as hot tubs and saunas--is not recommended for men trying to father a child because it may raise testes temperature to a point where it interferes with sperm production. 2 Douching after sex may delay conception That's a fact too! Douching may reduce a woman's chance of getting pregnant in a particular month by about 30 percent, according to a new study. The study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, showed that douching-practiced by many women to cleanse and deodorize the vaginal cavity -- is associated with a delay in pregnancy 3 A man can't get a woman pregnant if he doesn't have an orgasm Not true! It's unlikely that a man will get a woman pregnant if he doesn't have an orgasm - or if he pulls out before he reaches orgasm - but it's certainly not impossible. Men often release a small amount of semen (cum) before they ejaculate. Sometimes this is called "pre-cum". This semen still contains sperm and can certainly get a woman pregnant 4 Pregnancy can't occur if a couple has sex only on the woman's "safe" days. Not true. Since each woman's menstrual cycle is different, it's almost impossible to predict which days are "safe". Sperm can survive for several days in a woman's body, so a couple could have sex well before the woman ovulates and still run the risk of pregnancy. 5 Taking the morning after pill the same or next day will prevent a pregnancy. Not true. While the morning after pill is a lot better than nothing, it is only 75 percent effective at preventing pregnancy after unprotected sex. In other words, it prevents three out of every four conceptions that would have occurred. 6 Having Sex In The Missionary Position Determines Whether You Have A Boy Or Girl No. There is no evidence to suggest that, nor are you likely to have a boy if you have sex standing up or when your partner enters from behind. 7 Are You More Likely To Have A Boy If Your Partner Has Brothers? No. Your partner`s sperm does determine the sex of the baby, but whether you have a boy or girl is a random process. Your eggs contain just a female or X chromosome, whereas a man`s sperm contains either a male, or Y, chromosome or an X. The sperm that gets to the egg first and fertilises it will determine the sex of the child. Female sperms are larger and swim slower than the males. So why don`t you always have boys? Well, when the male sperm arrives the egg may not have been released from the ovary and the sperm dies off. The female sperm arrives later by which time the egg has been released and fertilisation takes place. If you want a boy try having sex as close as possible to ovulation when the egg is released, or just after if you want a girl. You can buy an ovulation testing kit to help with timing. 8 Potency is improved by 'Saving Up' semen through infrequent intercourse Millions of sperm are produced every day in the testicles. The sperm are stored in a tiny sac, the epididymis, which lies at the top of each testicle. Abstaning from sex in order to accumulate sperm so that more are deposited at the neck of the womb will not increase you chanes of acheiving conception , in fact the stored, older sperm may be of inferior quality and even hinder the newely produced, healthier sperm from reaching the egg. 9 Low level libido or failure of female orgasm inhibits conception There is no evidence to support this statement. Furthermore, a woman does not need to achieve an orgasm in order to conceive. Continually trying to find the right time to have sexual intercourse may place a strain on a couples lovemaking and this in turn may hinder their chances of getting pregnant. Couples should have sexual intercourse when they feel like it and not limit it to the period during the womans cycle perceived to be the most fertile. Furthermore, women do not always ovulate on the fourteenth day of their cycle and it is easy to misjudge the fertile time. The chance of becoming pregnant in any one month for a fertile couple is at best 1 in 4. 10 A woman who has never given birth is more likely to develop ovarian or uterine cancer than a woman who has had a child. Yes. The chance of developing ovarian cancer is reduced with each pregnancy, Also, if a woman takes birth control pills for at least five years during her reproductive life, she will have a reduced chance of developing ovarian cancer. Statistically, women who have children are less likely to develop uterine cancer than women who have never given birth It seems funny -- or sad -- that one couple makes a baby the very first time they have sex (whether they want a baby or not) while another couple can try and try for months without getting the child they want so badly. People trying to have a baby have often been advised to aim for the woman's fertile time midway between her periods. They are told to have intercourse on the day the woman ovulates, or a couple of days before or afterward. an Institute of scientists, taking precise data on more than 200 healthy women trying to have a baby, have determined that you're actually most likely to get pregnant if you have sex the day you ovulate or the five days before. It seems that a man's sperm may be longer-lasting than some people previously believed, while a woman's ovum, or human egg, disappears more quickly. Three days after intercourse, there might still be active sperm swimming around that can impregnate and fertilize a newly released egg. But if the sperm is not introduced until after the day of ovulation, a two- or three-day-old egg would be unlikely to still be in good enough shape to be fertilized, even by the freshest of sperm. You will have a problem, however, knowing when you're five days away from ovulation. There is no test to pinpoint that. A further problem: Your ovulation and fertile "window" - the time when you're likely to get pregnant - can wander around. It's like a moving target. Older guidelines for getting pregnant assumed that the average woman is fertile between days 10 and 17 of her menstrual cycle. But that's a very rough approximation -- an "average" that may not mean much for you as an individual woman. Seventeen percent of the women were fertile by day seven of their cycle. Two percent of women were fertile by day four! a study also showed very late ovulations occur, even in women who said their cycles were usually regular. Because of these late ovulations, 4 to 6 percent of the women were potentially fertile more than 28 days after the start of their cycle. In fact, even women who regarded their cycles as "regular" had a 1 to 6 percent probability of being fertile on the day their next period was expected. so what should a healthy women do in order to get pregnant? Get Your Bodies Ready When you have decided you want a baby, get your body ready: * Take folic acid in supplement form, 400mcg a day, or it can be found in some foods like cornflakes. * Cut down on your caffeine intake. * If you`ve come off the pill, there`s some dispute about how long you should wait before trying to conceive, but it`s probably best to wait 2-3 months. * The man should take zinc supplements to increase the strength and numbers of his sperm * He should also increase his vitamin D intake - drink milk. * Cut down on alcohol. Even 2 pints per day will, on average, reduce your baby`s weight by 6.5 ozs. * Stop smoking. Just one more reason to do so! * Keep the sperm cool - ideally 2-3? cooler than the rest of the body. Avoid tight underwear and tight jeans. Try boxer shorts, they may not be the latest in designer chic, but they help the testicles to stay away from the body and stay cooler. Have sex at the right time.. .. and frequently. To stand a chance of conceiving, live sperm has to fertilise an egg at the time of ovulation - usually around day 14 of your period. Sperm will usually live for 3 days so will hang around waiting and your timing doesn`t have to be exact. You can get ovulation predictor kits from your chemist. What`s The Best Position? It doesn`t really matter, although with the woman on top you may be reducing your chances of conceiving. Be Patient You can be doing everything right but you won`t necessarily conceive in the first month. In fact you probably won`t. Success is closely related to age: * Women aged 20-25 have a 1 in 4 chance of conceiving, * With women aged 30-35 the chance drops to 1 in 7, and the success rate falls as they get older. On average it will take a couple in their early to mid-twenties five cycles to conceive, and a couple in their early thirties ten cycles. One in ten couples have to wait more than a year before they succeed. What If It`s Not Working? If you have been trying for a baby without success: * Keep a temperature chart. After ovulation the woman`s body temperature rises by about 0.2?C and maintains this higher temperature until her next period. By measuring temperature as soon as you wake and entering the reading on a chart, you can see when you ovulate. Ideally you want to have sex just before then. You can`t turn the clock back of course, but the chart will tell you whether you ovulate at the same time each month and, if so, you can plan for the following month. The temperature rise is small and you may feel more confident with an ovulation kit available from your chemist. * try to lower your stress levels. Stress can affect either partner and may reduce your chances of conceiving. Try to have a few days away from work just before ovulation is due. * if you have been unsuccessful for a year or more it is worth talking to your doctor.
well, seeing as i am pregnant i figured i would do a section on pregnancy and sex lol.... A positive pregnancy test signals a lot of changes are on the way. First-time parents in particular may wonder about how pregnancy will affect their sexual relationship. Should sex be put on hold? It seems drastic, but then you think of all the old wives tales you've heard. You want to know if sex will hurt the baby. If the pregnancy is normal, there is no way that can happen. In the earliest stages, that little embryo is firmly implanted in the menstrual lining of the uterus. Normal intercourse is safe and harmless. For the first three months, doctors recommend normal sex – the wild stuff might have to go on hold for a while. If you have a history of miscarriage, also called spontaneous accidental abortion, or if there is any "spotting", or bleeding, then you should abstain from sexual intercourse or orgasm for the first three months. However, this doesn't mean you cannot pleasure your partner. After three months in a threatened pregnancy, you can have subdued sex until the last three months. And then, no sex, because an orgasm with uterine contractions might trigger premature labour. In a normal pregnancy, sex will not harm the baby. Some couples feel that the baby can see them having sex. No way - baby can't see a thing. Some males feel differently about sex when their partner is pregnant. She will be the mother of his child, almost like a Madonna, and you don't have sex with a Madonna. Many males find their pregnant partner to be very sexy. Some find they are not attracted to the changing body. Some pregnant women bloom, they love their body. But I've also known women who covered every mirror in the house because they felt big and awkward, with dark nipples, stretch marks, bulging belly button and varicose veins. Some women find they are more interested in sex when they are pregnant. Others find sex intrusive and don't want to be touched. Do talk to your doctor about these feelings. And couples should talk with each other about their feelings. Realize that some of these changes are temporary and that once the baby has arrived, you can work on getting back your beautiful body. There is a great new book out - THE MOTHER'S GUIDE TO SEX by Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, published by Three Rivers Press. Give it to a new mother at a baby shower. The majority of couples can still have sexual intercourse during their pregnancy. Your baby is surrounded and cushioned by amniotic fluid, and protected by your uterus and a layer of muscles. And the mucus plug inside your cervix helps guard against infection. Sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if your are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, engorgment of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for awhile, a return to sex as pleasure as opposed to procreational, and other reasons. On the other hand there are reasons why sex might not be as pleasurable: fear of hurting the baby, nausea, fatigue, awkwardness, etc. While women may feel large and uncomfortable, men generally find the pregnant body very erotic and desirable. It is important that you and your partner discuss the feelings you each have abouut sex. Even if sex is not an option, there are many other way of fullfilling the intimate desieres. More cuddling, romantic dinners, kissing, mutual masturbation and other intimate likings are all possibilities. Anal Sex: Anal sex during pregnancy is usually safe as well. However, if you have hemorrhoids, remember that they tend to become larger during pregnancy. And if your hemorrhoids are bleeding and you have anal sex, you can lose a considerable amount of blood, which can endanger you and your baby. You should never go from anal to vaginal sex without cleaning up first and changing condoms if you're using one -- otherwise you put yourself at risk for bacterial vaginitis, and there's some concern that this infection can cause preterm labor or make your water break early. Also, unless you're in a monogamous relationship and know that you and your partner are HIV-negative, you should use a condom, because HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are transmitted through broken skin. Oral Sex: Licking the vagina is fine, but it's not safe to blow into the genital area. Forcing or blowing air into the vaginal and urethral areas is very dangerous. Theoretically, if your partner blew hard enough, it could cause an embolism (bubble of air) to develop in a blood vessel in that area, and that could be lethal for you or the baby. Giving oral sex is also okay as long as you are comfortable. There's no danger to the baby from swallowing semen. As long as you're in a monogamous relationship and know that your partner is free of STDs, there's no risk. If your partner is HIV-positive, it's not safe because the virus is present in semen, and you and your baby could become infected if you swallow it. Vibrators And Dildos: It's generally safe to use a dildo during pregnancy. You do want to be extra careful not to penetrate too forcefully since plastic is more rigid than flesh. If you have placenta previa, using a sex toy (or, for that matter, having intercourse) could traumatize the placenta and cause heavy bleeding that could jeopardize your pregnancy. If you're at risk for premature labor, having an orgasm could cause contractions. And if your water has broken, there's a risk of infection to the baby. In any case, make sure the dildo is clean, and don't share it without cleaning it. If you're having a healthy pregnancy, it's safe to use a vibrator. But if you're at risk for preterm labor, it can be risky to have an orgasm since it can stimulate contractions. Lubricants: Although very safe, you may find that you dont need an additional lubricanat during pregnacy. Your cervix is plugged with mucus during pregnancy so there's no danger of the lubricant getting up to the baby. Just make sure it's water-based if you're using condoms since petroleum-based products will put holes in them.
What is circumcision? Circumcision involves removing the foreskin, which shields the head of the penis. In the United States, 60 percent of baby boys are circumcised, usually in the first few days or weeks after birth. Some parents choose circumcision because it's an important and ancient ritual, while others choose it because they believe it has health advantages. Should we circumcise our son? Circumcision is a personal decision that you should make based on your own beliefs and after talking with your doctor. Some medical evidence suggests that circumcision leads to improved health; in the short- or long-term, though, the issue is by no means clear-cut. Talk to your spouse, your pediatrician, your family and friends, and, if you're religious, the leader of your congregation to discuss whether circumcision is the right choice for you. Between 1989 and February 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics' policy had been that the potential medical benefits of circumcision outweighed most of the risks. But new research — and never-ending debate — prompted the academy to update its circumcision recommendation in March 1999. The AAP now says that the choice is best left up to parents, who should make an informed decision based on possible health benefits and risks, as well as cultural, religious, and ethnic traditions. And, for the first time, the organization says that if you do decide to circumcise, your son should be given pain relief. What are the pros and cons? Circumcision does make it easier to keep the penis clean, though washing the area under the foreskin thoroughly achieves the same result. In a 1989 study by the AAP, uncircumcised boys were found to be more likely to develop urinary tract infections, sometimes serious ones (although the risk of a UTI for any male, circumcised or no, is at most 1 percent). Other arguments in favor of circumcision include concerns that an uncircumcised child will be seen as different from his friends or will feel different from his father who may be circumcised. Arguments against circumcision include the fact that the procedure is not medically necessary. Some parents believe circumcision is a form of mutilation that's painful and emotionally harmful to a child. If we do decide to do it, what else should we know? If you decide to have your son circumcised, know that complications are possible — yet rare — whether performed by a mohel or a doctor (be sure to get references). Don't subject preemies, jaundiced babies, or other at-risk newborns to the procedure. It takes only a few minutes, so the pain is brief — but real, which is why the AAP recommends giving babies something to relieve it. The penis should be gauzed. After the procedure, expect some bleeding. When diapering, use extra folds to cushion the penis, and apply a fresh gauze pad and petroleum jelly or Neosporin. Expect the penis tip to be reddish or to secrete a yellowy liquid for a few days if you have your baby circumcised. Indications of infection: swelling or crusty, yellow sores containing cloudy liquid. If you suspect infection or if your baby has problems urinating — a trickling stream or expressions of discomfort — talk to your doctor. When should a circumcision be done? Make it early, if at all. And talk the issue through with your doctor and spouse before the baby arrives — it's an emotionally charged issue and not to be confronted when you're fatigued from giving birth. Rather than having it done in the delivery room, wait 24 hours or a few days. But delaying a circumcision until your baby is older than a few months can be traumatizing. When should we talk to our pediatrician about circumcision? Because of the myriad issues — religious, social, medical — it's wise to talk this one through with your physician early. You might want to bring it up when you first choose your pediatrician during your seventh or eighth month of pregnancy. If you elect to circumcise, ask your doctor about the use of anesthetic and the timing. SO, MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL IS HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT CIRCUMCISION?
Oral - Genital Sex - An Overview Oral-Genital Sex is commonly called "blow job; give head; go down on; eat out; lunch at the Y; etc." Once you get past that, you are o.k. Defined as oral stimulation of a partner's genitals, it may be male to female, female to male, male to male or female to female. Some people are convinced that their genitals are ugly, that they are dirty or diseased or that they smell awful. Let's deal with these feelings. Ugly - Females complain their labia are too big, vagina too "sloppy", clitoris too big or too small. Males believe their testicles are blue, penis too large, too small, circumcised or not, and it may have a noticeable curve to it (see Peyronie's Disease). Hey, get over it - it is your body, different from everybody else's and a loving partner will accept and love it. There are a few diseases that you would not want to find on you or your partner's genitals. Don't go near an active Herpes lesion, Genital Warts, Gonorrohea, Trichomonas ( Vaginitis) or Yeast infections. A few of these have a very strong (dead fish) odour. You may not be aware that your partner has an infection; your partner may not know, so you must be responsible for your own sexual health…practice SAFER SEX. Use a condom every time. Both male and female genitals have their own distinctive odour and taste that, believe it or not, are an aphrodisiac for your partner. Oral sex may be used as a pleasurable part of foreplay or it may be used by itself for sexual satisfaction for both males and females. MYTHS ABOUT ORAL SEX #1. You can get pregnant swallowing ejaculate. NO. #2. You are supposed to be an expert on your partners genitals. NO - ask them what feels good. #3. Oral sex is safe for the prevention of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD's). NO - we are now saying it is "risky behavior" for transmission of HIV. #4. A guy wants you to swallow his ejaculate. NO - If you're using a condom, you won't have to worry about that pressure. If you're in a long-term, monogamous relationship and not using condoms, you decide whether you want to do that or not. It won't hurt you, but many people find it gross. #5. Ejaculate, either rubbed on or swallowed, with clear up your acne or give you big breasts or eliminate menstrual cramps. The latest myth I have heard is that ejaculate, taken into your mouth will whiten your teeth. NOT….. just another line guys have developed over the centuries. Tell him to grow up. #6 Ejaculate WILL NOT help you loose weight!
This section will actually be on performing oral sex and some of the questions i have gotten. so first up is: Performing Oral Sex on a Male Fellatio When it comes to HIV, giving a guy a blow-job was initially thought to be a safe activity. However, developing research over the years shows that it is not. It is a "medium" risk activity and the virus can enter tiny abrasions in the mouth, such as those from brushing your gums and teeth before sex. Play it safe - USE A CONDOM! That has the added benefit of not having to taste the semen. Start out slowly, touch the penis, stroke, gently grip it in your hand, slowly moving up and down the shaft, getting faster as he becomes aroused. He may be producing lubrication (pre-cum) at this time. Then kiss, lick and start to suck on the head of the penis. Flick your tongue on the head, then up and down the shaft of the penis. You can also kiss, lick, and suck his testicles while stroking his penis. Now, gently take the head of his penis in your mouth and allow lots of saliva to flow down the shaft of his penis for lubrication. At the same time, you stimulate the shaft with your hand. Go slowly at first, then much faster, still being very gentle because the penis is very sensitive. We all have a gag reflex at the back of our throat, so if you take his whole penis into your mouth, you will hit your gag reflex and feel like "barfing" So, here's the secret, only take the head into your mouth, co-ordinate hand and head movement into a smooth rhythmic movement. His breathing and body will tell you when he is about to ejaculate. Ask him to indicate what pressure and speed he would like. If you don't want him to ejaculate into your mouth, he should warn you just before he comes. Ejaculate won't hurt you, but it is definitely an acquired taste and many people prefer not to have it in their mouth. Once he has ejaculated, stop all movement. His penis is super sensitive right then, so just let it rest in peace. He will thank you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- i recently had someone write me with the question: my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and i had a great sex life. we are now broken up. i have performed oral sex on him on a regular basis. its not that he prefers it but there are times when i just like to please him. i once told him that he had a bitter taste when he came and i therefore didn't swallow him that time. he is now basing our breakup on that fact. he drinks a lot of coffee and smokes. perhaps i shouldn't have said anything about the bitter taste but we did have an open and honest relationship. i didn't mean it in a bad way about the bitter taste but he took it that way and said it is one of the reasons that he broke up with me. his wife hates sex and has called him a pig and told him he was disgusting when he started to cum. (they have 4 children all in their 30's). i was wondering if there is any way to get rid of the bitter taste or should have i just kept quiet based on his wifes past performaces. they live in the same house but no longer have sex. my reply was: Well, that's a bit of an emotional mess, isn't it! No, you were perfectly correct to say that his cum tasted awful (most of it does), and if he is so shallow that he was offended by that, I say good riddance to him. I mean, really. Does he think his farts smell like roses, too? No, he should have some consideration for you - you're the one who has to swallow it. He could improve the taste by becoming a vegetarian. Meat is the main reason cum tastes bitter. Also, a product called Sweet Secretions works. It makes cum have no flavour at all. I guess you have to decide if he is worth the trouble -------------------------------------------------------------------------- next up is: Performing Oral Sex on a Female Cunnilingus The key to performing good oral sex on a female is to talk to your partner, check it out with her, what feels good, what she likes and does not enjoy, listen to her breathing patterns and body responses. Be aware that many females really believe that their genitals are ugly, that they are dirty and that they don't smell very good. They may need reassurance that their genitals are beautiful, unique and a real turn on for you. Sex will be more pleasurable if she is relaxed. Contrary to popular opinion, the vagina is not where the action is. Anatomically, the clitoris is analogous to a penis, but the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as a penis. Start slowly, "sensate focus" - hugging, kissing, stroking, petting, fondling, fingering, all great for sexual arousal. Very gently, spread the labia, touch the clitoris very gently. You can feel it become erect and lubrication will be noticeable. You can also stroke around the vaginal opening and very gently penetrate the vagina with your fingers, making sure that this is pleasurable for her. For oral contact, licking, sucking, kissing and gently blowing on the clitoris is pleasurable. Just remember, be very gentle. Do not blow into the vagina. At the same time you may wish to stroke around the vaginal opening, mimicking thrusting of the penis. You may wish to use a vibrator or dildo around the vagina or anal area. Talk to your partner. Many females will reach orgasm with oral genital sexual contact. To be most effective, check with her so you know what really is pleasurable and satisfying. SAFER ORAL SEX performed on a female will rely on a latex or polyurethane protective covering over her genitals. Sexual Health counselors may recommend a DENTAL DAM. This is a 5 inch square of thin latex used by a dentist. You can purchase them at a drug store, but most people use scissors to simply cut up the side of a latex condom, open it out, place it over her genitals to cover any areas that your mouth may come in contact with. This is the best protection to prevent her genital herpes infecting your lips, or systemic yeast infection. At present there is some debate about genital warts developing in the digestive track. And there is always the fear of HIV/AIDS infection. Always think…SAFER SEX. VENUS BUTTERFLY is a move which I first heard of in an old 1970's soap opera. It is oral sex on her clitoris, manual stimulation inside her vagina and, with the remaining hand, stimulation around her rectum, even penetrating the rectum if that is pleasurable for her. Make sure you use lubrication. This puts a whole new meaning to "getting your act together."
condoms, and their effectiveness against common std's: HIV HIV is the deadliest STD because it leads to AIDS, which is usually fatal. Condoms are highly effective in preventing the transmission of HIV. "Laboratory studies have shown that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens." In order for condoms to be effective, they must be used every time you have vaginal or anal sex. Discharge Diseases – Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Trichomoniasis These diseases are classified as 'discharge diseases' because they are spread through genital secretions, such as male ejaculate and vaginal fluids. HIV is also a discharge disease. Latex condoms, when used consistently, can help to reduce transmission rates. Again, the STD pathogens cannot penetrate the latex barrier. Since only areas covered by the condom are protected, discharge diseases can spread to unprotected areas. For example, oral sex with no condom can result in gonorrhea of the throat. "Many of the available studies were not designed or conducted in ways that allow for accurate measurement of condom effectiveness against the discharge diseases. More research is needed to assess the degree of protection latex condoms provide for discharge diseases, other than HIV." Genital Ulcer Diseases (Herpes, syphilis, chancroid) and Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) These are 'skin-to-skin' diseases. "Latex condoms can reduce the risk….only when the infected area or site of potential exposure is protected." "Genital ulcer diseases….are transmitted primarily through 'skin-to-skin' contact from sores/ulcers or infected skin that looks normal. HPV infections are transmitted through contact with infected genital skin or mucosal surfaces or fluids. Genital ulcer diseases and HPV infection can occur in male or female genital areas that are, or are not, covered (protected by the condom)." In other words, if you have a wart or a herpes sore on your penis, and you wear a condom over it, the disease will not be transmitted through the condom. However, most genital sores appear on other genital areas that are NOT covered by a condom. The disease can be spread by simply rubbing up against the sore or the infected area. Herpes is particularly sneaky, because the person with the disease may not have an active sore, but may still be 'shedding' skin cells that contain the virus from the infected area . Oddly, as the CDC paper points out, even though condoms have minimal effectiveness in regards the transmission of HPV (since it is spread 'skin-to-skin'), studies have shown that condom usage reduces the risk of diseases related to HPV, including genital warts and cervical cancer. "HPV infection is believed to be required, but not by itself sufficient, for cervical cancer to occur. Co-infections with other STD's may be a factor….More research is needed…" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Simplified Chart of Condom Effectiveness with Consistent Use HIV Highly effective protection Gonorrhea Medium to high effectiveness Chlamydia Medium to high effectiveness Trichomoniasis Medium to high effectiveness Herpes Low effectiveness Syphilis Low effectiveness Chancroid Low effectiveness HPV – Human Papillomavirus (warts) Low effectiveness, but does reduce risk of cervical cancer associated with HPV
well...i was origionally gonna do this part on circumsizion but i decided to go with anal sex first. some of the topics i plan on covering soon are circumsizion, oral sex, pregnancy, birthcontrol, toys, how to last longer, spicing it up in the bedroom, and a few other things. if you have any other questions or suggestions you know what to do. ok... anal sex... Anal sex, bum sex, sex by the back door, the Greek or Italian way, fudge-packing and sodomy - these are some of the terms used to describe anal sex. It involves anal penetration of the anus (or rectum) by an erect penis or even a vibrator, dildo or "butt plug." Previously regarded as sexual activity primarily practised by male homosexuals, it now appears to be a fairly common, even acceptable, alternative to vaginal intercourse amongst heterosexuals. The most common questions i have heard that relate to anal intercourse - how to do it, is it dangerous, does it hurt, why do people want to do it, is it pleasurable for the female, and how do I talk my partner into trying it? First - anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ˝" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection. The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's. Preferably, you're in a long-term, committed relationship, infection free, and practising SAFER SEX. But wait, there's more bad news. A "fissure" is a tear up in the rectum can develop into a crack, and become infected. It can gradually extend out through the wall of the bowel and form a channel across, through and into a nearby organ. That's called a "fistula", and it would allow feces to flow from the rectum into the vagina and out. Repairing tears, fissures and fistulas is delicate surgery and recovery can be long and painful. Some doctors will tell you that hemorrhoids (piles) could result from vigorous anal sex, and although I have no medical research, I have heard people say that the rectum "gets sloppy", stretched. I dont think thats right - if this was true, why doesn't it get sloppy with regular bowel movements? With no definitive research, you do the math. The best prevention is "don't go there". But if you do decide to try it, you and your partner must talk about it beforehand and agree on these points: 1. Your partner must be very, very gentle, absolutely no forced penetration and no vigorous thrusting. 2. You must use lots and lots of good lubrication, (anal lube, not saliva). 3. Your partner must use a condom…all the time, every time. 4. Your partner must respect "stop". If you say ouch, or it hurts, or No or quit… they must stop immediately. 5. It must be understood, if you do not want to have anal sex again, there will be no pressure, no threats and no pleading. NO means NO. 6. Use a well-lubricated condom without spermicide, either on the sex toy or his penis. Spermicide can irritate the rectum. 7. Never shift from anal sex back to vaginal sex without changing condoms. Feces can end up in the vagina and cause infections. There are some who really enjoy giving and receiving anal pleasure; some females feel that they have their best orgasms ever; some females oblige simply because their partner really enjoys anal sex; and for other females, it is just gross, embarrassing or disgusting. For men who have sex with men, it can be very satisfying sex. As to why the sudden increase in anal sexual activity, again, I have no studies but I suspect anal sex is the last taboo. Females believe that they won't get pregnant with anal sex. This is true, UNLESS ejaculate flows down over her genitals. Young females believe they are still a virgin if they have bum sex. Basically, this is true, but it is semantics. How much is "if you really loved me, you'd prove your love by doing this?" And how much is proof of power and control, dominant v.s. submissive. And of course, some of it is just good, old curiosity. "Try it, you'll like it." I get very upset when guys ask, "How can I talk my girlfriend into having anal sex?" My reply: "I hope you can't." Absolutely no coercion, promises, manipulation or threats. It must be mutual with a definite understanding of the "bottom line." As I write this, I realize that some people will be very offended by the whole topic, but knowledge is a survival skill for the new century and I want people to follow the old Planned Parenthood motto; "Know what you are doing, think ahead, plan ahead, and never let sex just happen". (thanks to sue johanson for the imformation that has made me so knowlegeable on these topics. she is the greatest)
The orgasm... well there is alot to be said about this subject. first of all... for females there are 5 main types of orgasms. and for males there are 2. seems kinda unfair huh. well what is an orgasm? you ask.... An orgasm is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an orgasm because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode. for me.. the muscles in my body go into contraction, my hands tighten up, I arch my back, my facial expression is intense, my breathing pattern changes to short gasps, my legs tremble, my toes curl under. You may also make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze. Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one orgasm after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have single orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after orgasm; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic orgasm. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms. It is a myth that a female should have an orgasm every time she has sex. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain. There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an orgasm. The sex was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring. Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an orgasm to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake orgasm just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking orgasm is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship. Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an orgasm but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that. types of female orgasm... 1) g-spot-The G Spot is a small area, (about 1 inch diameter) inside the vagina, up about an inch and half to two inches. Appropriate stimulation will cause the female to take a deep breath and push down real hard. Most women describe the sensation as feeling they want to urinate - they have a powerful urge to "bear down", same sensation of pushing when delivering a baby. They take a deep breath, hold it and push right down to their bottom. During G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The G Spot fluid is colourless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does). Every woman who has experienced G Spot orgasm has a different way of getting there. But there is a common thread through their stories. Usually it happens when: - she is in a high trust relationship where she does not worry what she looks like, sounds like or smells like; she is confident. - she is very, very sexually aroused. She has possibly had one or more orgasms just prior to reaching G Spot orgasm. - she reaches a certain point and she just has to push down. - she can feel the fluid spurting out and it feels wonderful. - after that orgasm, women will tell you they feel completely depleted, they can hardly walk to the bathroom. - it the best sex possible. 2) vaginal- simple enough this is when a women has an orgasm from sex... penis in vagina thrusting. this will not be nearly as strong a a g-spot, and not many women get these orgasms. 3) clitoral- most women experiance this type of orgasm.. it is of course.. when the clit is stimulated either by oral sex, or by manual stimulation by hands, or a toy. 4) Anal- orgasms from anal sex... these orgasms are strong, but no where near what a man experiances from an A-spot see below. 5) above the waist- supposivly a women can get an orgasm without a guy ever touching her below the waist. some ppl also call this a nipple orgasm. i myself have not experianced this so i really am not sure i believe it but hey who knows lol. Male orgasms: 1) Regularmale orgasm- nutting either from jacking off, head, or from sex. 2) A-spot-Some males are jealous that females have a "G Spot" that, when stimulated, results in a high level of sexual excitement and a geyser of fluid called female ejaculate or orgasmic expulsion. Males have an "A SPOT" It involves stimulating the prostate gland via the rectum. This is done by manual stimulation or gentle use of a dildo or vibrator. The operative word here is "gentle" - the prostate is very sensitive and any rough stuff can be very painful, possibly dangerous. Any way you choose to do it, here are the basics: Put a condom over your index and middle finger; lubricate them well; touch around the rectum till it is relaxed enough to allow easy insertion of one then two fingers. About 2 inches up the rectum you will feel another sphincter, (ring of muscles). It may take a minute or so for these muscles to relax, then, when your fingers can go up about 3-4 inches, you gently stroke and you will feel his prostate. If is firmer than surrounding organs - feels about the size of a walnut and is very sensitive. Then you crook these two fingers towards his abdomen and gently stroke. Communication is important here. He needs to tell you if it feels good or if it is uncomfortable, even painful. At the same time, you may be performing manual or oral stimulation on his penis and genitals. In all probability, this will result in a very satisfying ejaculation and orgasm. hope this was informative. once again you know what to do if you have any questions. also please leave me comments!!!
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