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Scott, Part II

Wow... ok, so i got off work today, and was bombared w/ all these messaged on CT and Yahoo IM... I am not sure if he is just naturally that hateful, or if i really hurt him that badly that he would react this way. Although, goes to show, "love" means jack shit to people sometimes... they say it like it's nothing... and forget about it overnight... and go to saying all kinds of crazy shit... I dunno... i've been under hella stress recently... yeah, i made an ASS out of myself w/ the drama w/ scott the other night, god knows i know this already... but i wasn't expecting all of this... it was the same hateful messaged over and over and over ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scotty: in fact i need to go back on there and make sure that all comments i left you are deleted as i don't want to be further associated with the likes of your Scotty: i had not further plans to..but ill go on your profile any damn time i please..you don't tell me what to do :) Scotty: don't flatter yourself..i also thought id check and see how immature you would be about me in your blog..lol Scotty: umm...b/c i had to go on your profile to stop being your fan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ frankly, i'm in awe... Not sure if it's because i didn't expect this reaction, or if it's because i didn't think it got to him so badly. Apparently I did. I guess i just expected a "fuck you bitch" and nothing else. But for someone to go through that much time and effort... I think I really hurt him. what sucks ass... I FEEL BAD..... i didn't realize it would be that big of a deal. But, apparently, it is... Right now, i'm unsure how to react... i sent some messages back on yahoo... but like, i am in total shock about this... but i have never dated anyone who had access to my yahoo messenger ID, my CT stuff, and myspace. So i guess i'm used to the usual "fuck you" text message.... not, the same 4 messages on a blog comment, in my shout box, and on my yahoo messenger... that seems to me like he really wanted to get his point across... not only to prove me wrong (about the grammer... i don't know why but that is one word i ALWAYS type wrong... strange huh?) but to go out of his way to tell me i can't tell him what to do... (yeah very obviously, i'm a control freak... probably saying it to get under my skin...) I am just shocked. I have never had anyone go through so much trouble to just "put me in my place"/ Oh, wait... I've never dated a 29 year old. I dunno~ i find it funny... i have this letter in my Criminal Justice notebook that i started on at work one night, writing to him. I came across it last night, as i was going my homework, well, at work. I just find it humorous I suppose. Maybe i shouldn't. I dunno. I mean, I'm not mad by any means. I don't have the right to be. I fint it funny though how he points out maturity, in that 7 years does make a difference in maturity. But I also find it funny how he uses stuff to personally offend me, like the spelling thing... on my blog... I mean, i wasn't even that mean to just post fucked up messages on his CT page... nor would I... i only do that when I'm really pissed off at people, like that one dude that one day. Well, regardless, since i know you're reading it anyways, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. You're right. In everything you've said. Although, you know that. But, you know that whole saying you hurt the ones you love... i hurt the people closest to me. I usually don't realize it until after I've done it. And of course I'm never wrong, so the apology never gets relayed... so the issue sits and harbors... which obviously, ALL of our drama obviously did for you to react this way. There is nothing else I can do, or say, but I'm sorry. I can't fix it. I can't make it better. I can't change the past. I'm sorry. I couls sit and make excuses why i acted the way I did... but it doesn't matter. You're right. All i can say is yeah, you're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. I wish you the best of luck in life. I'm sorry you had the misfortune of meeting me. Hopefully, that'll be the worst thing that ever happens... We're done. No more talking, no more comments, no more anything. Done. I'm sorry. Goodbye...
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